I am on the Facebook. It is one of these online communities which seeks to connect people to other people through already established real-world networks (i.e. colleges, jobs, clubs etc). Anyone on one of these networks can search for people through a variety of categories (names, schools, jobs - you get the idea). So recently I received a message with a guy who probably searched for people with names that started with "Don." He found my last name and sent me a friend request which stated how much he liked my last name. As I have gotten older, I have become decreasingly attached to this name. The following is the message I sent to him.
"I know you saw my name and thought something to the effect of "Wow! That's cool!" However, every name has a story and mine is no exception. "Donkin" is an anglicized version of the Scottish "Duncan." If you know anything about British imperialism and Scottish disdain for the English crown, you know this is an eye-sore for Scots. For even more fun, 'Donkin' is not really my family name. My grandfather died when my father was a baby, and my grandmother remarried. When she married a man with the name 'Donkin' this man adopted my father. My father's name then changed from 'Stewart' to 'Donkin.' The only reason I have kept my last name as it is, is because I like the way my full name sounds and Donkin is a rare last name in the US. It also reminds me how the choices in our lives affect the outcomes, and our heritage is as much choice as accident."
Now, I know the above conveys my dislike, and strange reasoning for keeping my last name, but it does not explain anything about my other names (for which I do have a great attachment). "Alexis," a derivative of "Alexander" means "defender of human-kind" (the baby name book has a more sexist version using the word 'man,' so I changed the wording to express the true sentiment of the name). "Tara" (my middle name) has several meanings as there are a number of ethnicities which have this name. My personal favorite connotation is it's the name of the Tibetan goddess of beginnings. My least favorite is the Irish, which means 'bitter.' However my first name is the name with which I most strongly identify. It is the reason for the name of my blog - 'protector's archetype.'
Some people don't care about their names. Their names mean nothing to them. They are merely a delineation - separating them from the other people surrounding them in the world. For me, my name is more than a category. It gives meaning. I own my name. Whenever a person is called a name, it shapes how they act and who they become. This is why our words are so important, why categories can be so damaging or empowering. My name, combined with my deep faith socialization has given be a profound sense of purpose - of destiny in this world. I may not receive standing ovations from large groups when I step out on stage (at this moment *grin*) from all the work I have done on the global stage, but every 'insignificant' act every day has an affect on the lives of millions of people, though I do not see these results. It is no coincidence, my name, my choices, my enrollment in the MAGIS program. All these things are interrelated.
Yes, Shakespeare is right that a rose will smell as sweet with another name. But a person's choices and actions, as Romeo and Juliet can attest, are shaped by names and categories. If I was named Jennifer or Caitlin, I would not be the same person. If I had my family name Stewart instead of Donkin, I would not be who I am. Names are important, and so are the words we use to describe situations in the world.
