Beginning with Ever After

Christian and I got married last Friday. Woot woot! We were informed by guests that it was one of the (if not THE) most spectacular wedding ever. This is not because we had silk napkins imported from India to dapple the reception tables (we didn't) or because we had a magician walking around entertaining guests as we ate (again, sadly that was a different wedding). Rather it was because it was so incredibly honest and it was fun for everyone in attendance. The ceremony had awesome music groups(none of this Pacabel or wedding march business!), the officiant was thoughtful in his words, we wrote our own vows, and there was congregational participation. The reception had a playlist we had developed during the cocktail and dinner hours, followed by an awesome funk band that had everyone dancing. Everyone I spoke with during the course of the event and the week following has said they had a great time. My bridesmaids looked fabulous, the groomsmen looked fabulous, and I think I heard every table at the reception full of laughter. It really felt like the best start of our life together we could possibly have.

Afterwards people always talk about brides feeling the come down. Though the initial daze has worn off, I'm far from being depressed. We wake up every morning next to our best friend in the whole world and it makes us both grin from ear to ear. We're planning our next steps (moving to Phoenix AZ) and it makes us so excited. Even the most annoying chores are softened by jokes and a recognition that everything is alright. We have nothing to worry about because we have each other. It's wonderful all the time. Problem-solving becomes a game. Every day is a new adventure and a new story.

We do look at each other every now and again and say "Hey, we're married!?!" Christian seems to take particular delight in saying things like "It's my beautiful wife" or "have you seen my wife?" We both catch each other fiddling or just staring at our rings. It's hard not to be transfixed.

At a friend's recent wedding someone said something like "May this day be the day you love your spouse the least" in other words, that you continue to love your spouse more and more over time. Many people told us that marriage does in fact get better and better over time. My guess is, in cases where the partnership is formed for the right reasons, growing and changing together increases and strengthens your closeness. It's a beautiful and wonderful thing. That's not to say that there won't be times of difficulty, stress, anger, sadness, or other tensions. Those things are certainly part of life. But when you wake up every day knowing there is at least one person who has chosen to bind themselves together with you until you die, you feel a bit more secure about everything.

We've gotten into the excitment of looking ahead at moving, getting jobs, having him graduate from MMI, and starting a family. I went to the DMV today to begin the process for my motorcycle license so I can have it before we move. It makes me feel like things are really happening. Changes are occuring and they're all good because whatever happens Christian is with me and our lives are totally blessed. We have wonderful family and friends. We are full of potential, gifts and talents. The world is our oyster. It's great to be alive.

A New List of Sins for Today

At the risk of sounding profoundly simplistic and overly black and white in my faith I have decided to post a little list of sins, and if there is a hell, people who commit these without repentance, apology, or reconciliation get a special place in it.

This is prompted by the fact that a jury just found the woman who drunk drove and killed our friend Justin Sharp "not guilty of all charges." She made an illegal U turn on a highway and Justin was simply unable to avoid colliding with her car. Because if justice cannot be found in this world, it must be found in the next.

This list is in no particular order.

1) Inconsideration of other people. So that means people who talk during movies - yes, because you talk without thinking about the people around you. It also includes people who don't use their turn signal, talk on cell-phones while driving, text while driving, don't clean up their messes.

2) Disregarding the feelings of others. This is a corollary to the above.

3) Hate - of homosexuals, of fat people, of people who are different because it makes you uncomfortable, of anyone at all

4) Greed - for candy, for money

5) Lust - because a thousand nights with a thousand different women in a thousand different positions will never make you happy

6) Irresponsibility - that is, being reckless, doing things without using common sense, being flippant, or neglecting your obligations and your commitments (that includes divorce because you married for the wrong reasons or just don't want to work at your relationship)

7) Being a defense attorney - they're actually evil.

8) Being a part of an insurance company that swindles people - because pretty much, they all do.

9) Being a loan officer. Sorry guys, but basically you're swindling people too if you're collecting interest. This is an old stand-by sin too.

10) Killing someone.

11) Killing someone without apologizing.

12) Being a part of a jury who denies justice from being done.

13) Male chauvinists - this goes along with the hate thing.

14) Sexual Assault and/or Rape - beyond a doubt one of the most terrible (and common) things a person can do to another person where the victim remains alive.

15) Abuse - it doesn't matter what kind.

16) Lying to the detriment of others. Because really, honesty is the best policy for the community, and for your relationships. If you can't tell the truth, don't say anything at all.

17) Telling hurtful jokes - it's only funny if everyone is laughing.

18) Making assumptions. JUST ASK a person what's going on before acting on it. By robbing a person of choice you can cause suffering - and it's intentional while done without thought or care.

19) Being excessively rich when there are people dying from preventable diseases, war, hunger, and thirst.

20) Purposefully hurting someone, and/or delighting in it.

21) Watching someone be hurt and not doing anything about it.

22) Being violent - it's not okay. It's a vehicle for hurt.

23) Defiling your body. What does that mean? Your body really is a temple. Why would you alter your brain to something unrecognizable by ingesting chemicals? Why would you try to escape yourself so much? How could you hate yourself so much to destroy one of God's beautiful creations?

24) Polluting the environment - that includes but is not limited to using disposable paper products when it is avoidable, eating food that was mass produced and shipped to you from a far off place, littering, participating in a process that puts smog in the air, not making use of green technology as it is available and accessible to you, using excessive amounts of energy.

25) Refusing to help people when they need it and you are able to give it.

That's the end of my little list. I can't think of anything else at the moment. I think it covers the major sins and the ones that are so prevalent in our society today. May God forgive those who recognize and feel the depth of the wrongs they commit. Those who do not truly understand, well... may the powers deal with you justly.

Amen.