Beginning with Ever After

Christian and I got married last Friday. Woot woot! We were informed by guests that it was one of the (if not THE) most spectacular wedding ever. This is not because we had silk napkins imported from India to dapple the reception tables (we didn't) or because we had a magician walking around entertaining guests as we ate (again, sadly that was a different wedding). Rather it was because it was so incredibly honest and it was fun for everyone in attendance. The ceremony had awesome music groups(none of this Pacabel or wedding march business!), the officiant was thoughtful in his words, we wrote our own vows, and there was congregational participation. The reception had a playlist we had developed during the cocktail and dinner hours, followed by an awesome funk band that had everyone dancing. Everyone I spoke with during the course of the event and the week following has said they had a great time. My bridesmaids looked fabulous, the groomsmen looked fabulous, and I think I heard every table at the reception full of laughter. It really felt like the best start of our life together we could possibly have.

Afterwards people always talk about brides feeling the come down. Though the initial daze has worn off, I'm far from being depressed. We wake up every morning next to our best friend in the whole world and it makes us both grin from ear to ear. We're planning our next steps (moving to Phoenix AZ) and it makes us so excited. Even the most annoying chores are softened by jokes and a recognition that everything is alright. We have nothing to worry about because we have each other. It's wonderful all the time. Problem-solving becomes a game. Every day is a new adventure and a new story.

We do look at each other every now and again and say "Hey, we're married!?!" Christian seems to take particular delight in saying things like "It's my beautiful wife" or "have you seen my wife?" We both catch each other fiddling or just staring at our rings. It's hard not to be transfixed.

At a friend's recent wedding someone said something like "May this day be the day you love your spouse the least" in other words, that you continue to love your spouse more and more over time. Many people told us that marriage does in fact get better and better over time. My guess is, in cases where the partnership is formed for the right reasons, growing and changing together increases and strengthens your closeness. It's a beautiful and wonderful thing. That's not to say that there won't be times of difficulty, stress, anger, sadness, or other tensions. Those things are certainly part of life. But when you wake up every day knowing there is at least one person who has chosen to bind themselves together with you until you die, you feel a bit more secure about everything.

We've gotten into the excitment of looking ahead at moving, getting jobs, having him graduate from MMI, and starting a family. I went to the DMV today to begin the process for my motorcycle license so I can have it before we move. It makes me feel like things are really happening. Changes are occuring and they're all good because whatever happens Christian is with me and our lives are totally blessed. We have wonderful family and friends. We are full of potential, gifts and talents. The world is our oyster. It's great to be alive.

A New List of Sins for Today

At the risk of sounding profoundly simplistic and overly black and white in my faith I have decided to post a little list of sins, and if there is a hell, people who commit these without repentance, apology, or reconciliation get a special place in it.

This is prompted by the fact that a jury just found the woman who drunk drove and killed our friend Justin Sharp "not guilty of all charges." She made an illegal U turn on a highway and Justin was simply unable to avoid colliding with her car. Because if justice cannot be found in this world, it must be found in the next.

This list is in no particular order.

1) Inconsideration of other people. So that means people who talk during movies - yes, because you talk without thinking about the people around you. It also includes people who don't use their turn signal, talk on cell-phones while driving, text while driving, don't clean up their messes.

2) Disregarding the feelings of others. This is a corollary to the above.

3) Hate - of homosexuals, of fat people, of people who are different because it makes you uncomfortable, of anyone at all

4) Greed - for candy, for money

5) Lust - because a thousand nights with a thousand different women in a thousand different positions will never make you happy

6) Irresponsibility - that is, being reckless, doing things without using common sense, being flippant, or neglecting your obligations and your commitments (that includes divorce because you married for the wrong reasons or just don't want to work at your relationship)

7) Being a defense attorney - they're actually evil.

8) Being a part of an insurance company that swindles people - because pretty much, they all do.

9) Being a loan officer. Sorry guys, but basically you're swindling people too if you're collecting interest. This is an old stand-by sin too.

10) Killing someone.

11) Killing someone without apologizing.

12) Being a part of a jury who denies justice from being done.

13) Male chauvinists - this goes along with the hate thing.

14) Sexual Assault and/or Rape - beyond a doubt one of the most terrible (and common) things a person can do to another person where the victim remains alive.

15) Abuse - it doesn't matter what kind.

16) Lying to the detriment of others. Because really, honesty is the best policy for the community, and for your relationships. If you can't tell the truth, don't say anything at all.

17) Telling hurtful jokes - it's only funny if everyone is laughing.

18) Making assumptions. JUST ASK a person what's going on before acting on it. By robbing a person of choice you can cause suffering - and it's intentional while done without thought or care.

19) Being excessively rich when there are people dying from preventable diseases, war, hunger, and thirst.

20) Purposefully hurting someone, and/or delighting in it.

21) Watching someone be hurt and not doing anything about it.

22) Being violent - it's not okay. It's a vehicle for hurt.

23) Defiling your body. What does that mean? Your body really is a temple. Why would you alter your brain to something unrecognizable by ingesting chemicals? Why would you try to escape yourself so much? How could you hate yourself so much to destroy one of God's beautiful creations?

24) Polluting the environment - that includes but is not limited to using disposable paper products when it is avoidable, eating food that was mass produced and shipped to you from a far off place, littering, participating in a process that puts smog in the air, not making use of green technology as it is available and accessible to you, using excessive amounts of energy.

25) Refusing to help people when they need it and you are able to give it.

That's the end of my little list. I can't think of anything else at the moment. I think it covers the major sins and the ones that are so prevalent in our society today. May God forgive those who recognize and feel the depth of the wrongs they commit. Those who do not truly understand, well... may the powers deal with you justly.

Amen.

Drawer dividers and other suggestions

With the upcoming wedding, my and my parents' respective moves, the house is in a state of semi-frenzied activity. Stuff is everywhere (well, as much as it can be in my mother's house). Old items are being reconfigured. Useless items (both in good condition and in bad) are triaged: donated, sold, or thrown-out. In preparation for my parents' new house, they've also gotten a couple books at bargain discounts (of course) on organization and patios. I won't bother talking about patios because that only interests those of us who own homes and want to pave half their backyard (or are required to by whatever circumstances present).

So after an evening of running around doing wedding stuff I came back and sat down on the overstuffed leather chair with a glass of Velvet Moon (or some such thing) with Jon Stewart in the background and perused the Home Depot organizing book.

The next morning I decided to do what I had let undone for sometime - to finish updating my goal board. I put up two of the mostly completed portions onto the cork board. For some reason this started off a train of frenzied work that lasted the whole day. Needless to say there's still a great deal of work to be done, because uncluttered surfaces do not necessarily mean uncluttered drawers.

The realization was multi-layered. I figured out why my mother and father have conflicting organizational styles. My mother can do "closed storage" - my dad can't. I can do closed depending on the room/items. For example, my clothing in my dresser - not a problem. The items in my desk...well I'm not sure if that's because I have a barrier of stuff between me and the desk, or if it's actually just the stuff in there. Papers are definitely invisible when in a folder hidden in a drawer. This of course is a problem for the simple reason that important documentation is frequently in a paper form. Let's not even get into the problem of electronic filing systems which really are invisible, and frequently inaccessible due to my primordial lap-top.

So I decided that I should invest in some drawer dividers. I started doing it with my socks and hair ties so why shouldn't I do it with pens and staplers? Seems logical. Now the only question is, do we make it into a fun little project where Christian (my future husband) gets to make little wooden boxes or do we just pay whatever it costs to get some modular drawer boxes/drawer organizing trays? And then, should I extend the dividers to include not only my socks and hair ties but also my shirts and lounge wear for example?

Can you tell this is how I'm exerting control over my tousled life?

My everyday lounge: The Sarong

So I've been stressing out quite a bit, seeing as I'm getting married, moving, and just graduated. However I will say that one of the keys to NOT stressing out too much is environment. That includes music, organization, people, food, exercise, lighting, and even your clothing. I'm going to take this moment to advertise for one of the most versatile pieces of clothing ever, the sarong.

It's just a glorified scarf, but oh the wonders of such a wardrobe piece! And those of you who are feeling a little elitist, and think, "Oh, why wear a piece of cloth worth 5$ around that was styled in South Asia?!" You all have a LOT of learning to do...

This neck knot style using a full sarong is my fave for lounging around the house or covering up at the beach...

For some alternative configurations, I suggest trying the short skirt option. This basically consists of folding the full sarong and then tying.


Or the more traditional full skirt is probably slightly less "risque" and therefore may be more comfortable for the newly inducted sarong wearer.

However the wearing fun has just begun. Because a sarong can also be worn or used as a turban, a scarf, a headband, used as a towel, a light blanket, a baby sling (though perhaps that should only be used in a real pinch) a bag (if you're feeling creative), or even a curtain.

This last style is one that I haven't really tried to pull off, but now that I've seen these handy-dandy pics I think I might give it a go.
This is "toga" style, which involves wrapping underneath and over in a way that I will have to spend some time figuring out... as of now however, it eludes me. But, that shouldn't stop you from trying the same thing. Here is a shot of the front and the back...


Good luck and enjoy the relaxing and versatile wonderful world of sarongs. I'll be quietly freaking out as I try to make playlists for the reception dinner hour.