Wednesday, November 28, 2007

100 Things I Learned in India


Thanks for following along my time in India, for the few posts it was worth. If you're interested in hearing specific stories about my time abroad or about my conclusions relating to religion, politics, and culture, I am more than happy to speak for your group or organization. Please drop a line or comment on this or another post.
This is just a laundry list of lessons, trivia, and observations from my time in India. It's in no particular order. Enjoy.

1. Everything exists in India. It is the land of extremes. Thus many Guiness World Records have been set, understandably, in India (like the longest beard or the longest fingernails).

2. Currently there are 4 Miss Worlds who have been Indian. Ms. Rai is my personal favorite (and probably the most popular).

3. Though the law states all people are equal, society has it's own rules and those include caste and class.

4. Servants are a regular thing here. Sometimes even the servants have servants.

5. People talk around things that are important (like feelings or about business situations or major life decisions) while telling you quite bluntly that you need to lose weight or you have zits all over your face.


6. Life is much more about feeling than thinking. So people become attached to others (even if they talk about you all the time behind your back) and so much so that if they feel someone has hurt you (whether you are hurt or not) they will find that person and maim them. Riots have started over things like this. Also many a murder case...

7. People can love (romantically) many people. But loving does not mean life partner. And it doesn't mean you do anything about it. Duty and commitment are important parts of life. Get over yourself.

8. Family is central. Family comes before self, before friends, before others. Though sometimes this might be expressed in strange ways in India, I think there is something Americans could learn from this.

9. Colors are a good idea and can be brought about naturally. It's called 'vegetable dye.'

10. Manicures do not necessarily mean scary looking fake nails. It can mean an exfoliation treatment, an arm oil massage and a natural nail polish (which is possible...I've SEEN them!).

11. The same goes for pedicures...

12. Staring doesn't necessarily mean that you are attractive. It could just be that you're weird looking (Weird here means not only strange in a cooky sort of way, but also unusual as in rare or extraordinary - i.e. wealthy looking.).

13. History is important. Learn it so you don't repeat it.

14. It's good to sing and dance in public, even if you're an adult, even if no one else around you is. Do it.

15. Men can wear shawls. And it looks HOT.

16. Here men can be publically affectionate with other men, and women with other women, but not to each other. And funnily enough, it's illegal to be gay. HA!

17. Bombs are part of many people's everyday lives. We should remember that we're blessed with an incredibly stable and civil society. 9/11 was bad, but there's been a lot worse events in many other places that happen much more frequently.

18. God is too big for one religion and historical context. Geography, culture, and history influence how people experience God. Some of those things might be problematic. Some of those things might be a little uncomfortable. But, if this different way brings a person closer to God, who am I to stop them?

19. Some things are universal. Some dance moves, and decoration I've seen everywhere, done by different groups of people at different times. Sooo we're all different, but we're all human. There's more similarity here than most people will admit.

20. My mom cooks food which is just as spicy if not spicier than a lot of Indian food. Different regions have different flavors, but still, thank God my mother exposed me to spicy food. Otherwise...

21. It's a lie that people lose weight here. I've been pretty much the same the whole time I've been here. You only lose weight if you get sick. If you're smart, you won't get sick. I've gotten some colds and the flu, but I've not gotten any serious illness or anything remotely strange here.

22. Mosquitos are a type of bird. They are all pervasive during the autumn months. Bug repellant is essential to life.

23. Pollution is a problem of development. It is noxious, it is awful, and it makes a person feel like they are smoking over a pack a day. How can we solve the issue of pollution while providing India and other countries an avenue to wealth formation? That I have not figured out.

24. Hair is an asset. Mustard oil is supposed to be the best type of oil, even if it smells like, well, mustard. Heat it up and massage it into your scalp and hair. Leave it on for at the very least 30 minutes. After, shampoo (sometimes two or three times depending on your hair and how much oil you used), condition, rinse. If you blow dry, use an ionizing dryer. Otherwise your oil treatment is pretty much neutralized.

25. Kajal, or black eyeliner, is a fundamental tool of the Indian woman's make-up arsenal. It is also used by the poor (especially, all though not exclusively) in dusty regions to protect the eyes from dust - so children and men may also wear it.

26. Camels are in India. I didn't realize they were here until I went to Jaipur. On the road they are used like horses - transportation and they pull carts as well. My Indian shoes are also made of camel leather (sorry animal activists, but they haven't made a synthetic fiber that can compare to leather...it's still the best.).

27. Elephants are really tall. This might seem intuitive, but when you're riding one it really hits home.

28. Tigers and leopards hang out in the forests all over the place. Sometimes, if you're staying near a jungle area, they even scratch at your door at night. How crazy is that?

29. Christians are second class citizens, even though they do incredible service work here in India. There is a strong fear of conversion among the dominant religious group, Hindus, and so Christian organizations are monitored very closely.

30. Hound dogs really smell. I'm never getting one. There's a great dane in the house where I stay and his breath alone (added with the smell of his body generally) is like a weapon of mass destruction. Seriously, they might be able to market that...

31. Chows are evil. They are moody and they get offended easily. But they are really adorable to look at. I suggest admiring from afar.

32. We get ripped off for jewelry in the US, as well as health care. So make a trip to India, get your surgery done, AND buy some really nice gems. Two for the price of traveling to a foreign country! Nice!

33. The Taj is not as spectacular as people lead you to believe. It is nicer because of the stories surrounding it's creation. That said, you should see it for that very reason. And if you can, propose to your significant other there, or (i don't know if this is possible) get married there!

34. If you've seen one piece of Mughal architecture you've seen them all. Really. They were all built around the same time by basically the same three people. Spend your time looking at some temples and some other palaces instead.

35. Hippies are alive and well... in India. They've kind of taken over the hill stations. It's rather disturbing.

36. Tourists can be identified using these three factors: their skin, their large waistline, and the sporting of goofy looking broad brimmed hats.

37. Summer is used to melt things...like white people. Don't come here during summer. Come early fall or late spring. Otherwise you have to bring warm clothes and lots of bug repellant.

38. India is the land of almost. Don't buy pizza here (especially if you're from the East Coast...you'll be really disappointed). Although they do make decent crusty bread (surprisingly).

39. Chai is amazing. Once you've had it, you'll never patronize Starbucks again (for their boxed chai and maybe even their coffee). It also has different flavors depending on the chaiwala...so patronize a bunch and enjoy!

40. Every temple has holy food or prashad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bland, sometimes it's just scary. So, give offerings at your own risk.

41. The Himalayas are amazing, both the lesser and the greater. Visit them if you can.

42. Delhi is gross. It is loud, busy, and grimy. If you like LA you'll like Delhi. Otherwise... forget it.

43. Small villages are quaint. Go to one with a person who is well connected to the place. You'll be treated like royalty.

44. People are incredibly hospitable. Accept their hospitality carefully - sometimes it can be overwhelming. Other times it's not right for you (for whatever reason). Say no in such a way that you won't hurt the person's feelings.

45. Depending on who you talk to, you'll find that Hindi and Urdu are Siamese twins. But good luck finding any similarity between scripts!

46. Coffee here is usually instant unless you ask specifically for french press style coffee. Drink at your own risk.

47. Indian sweets are REALLY sweet. Diabetics should stick to savory foods. Those in fear of diabetes, stick to savory foods. That said, kheer is lovely and so is this Indian fudge called barfi (made with either almond paste or pistachio paste).

48. Nuts are also known as 'dried fruit.'

49. Actions aren't completed, they're on-going. For example, "You are looking lovely in all these pictures I'm seeing."

50. Get used to terms of endearment, primarily 'darling,' 'sweetie,' 'honey,' and 'baby.'

51. Western wear is popular in cities. So bring a pair of jeans.

52. If you do wear Indian dress, consult an Indian on some of these things. And don't wear them if you look stiff and awkward in it. Only wear it if you really feel comfortable in it. Sometimes it's just weird to watch Westerners wearing this clothing....it looks contrived.

53. Watch some Bollywood movies. Do it in the comfort of your own home with subtitles. Indian movie theaters are an experience in themselves... best saved for a group of people and a movie in English (unless you're fluent in Hindi).

54. There are an enormous number of French in Delhi. I think they have plans of over-running the city.

55. It's a new trend for Westerners to live in India because the cost of living is so cheap and you can have a life of luxury on the same amount of income that was bringing you a middleclass life in your home country.

56. India is not for everyone. You pretty much either love it or hate it. And even if you hate, sometimes you still have to come back. It's kind of like a Greek or Italian mother giving you a guilt trip. You're required to return.

57. There are awful/selfish rich people everywhere.

58. There are good people everywhere - and some of them even have money!

59. Addiction is everywhere, and always for the same reasons.

60. If you are looking at adoption, I suggest you consider adopting a child from India. Particularly girl babies from the north as alot of those are abandoned in favor of male children who are perceived to be a lesser burden.

61. Some Indians look Mexican. Others look French or Italian. Others look Chinese. In another part of the world... they'd blend right in. It's kind of similar to Brazil in that way... :-D

62. Indian roads are like obstacle courses. You have autorickshaws, bicycle rickshaws, cows, horse carts, scooters, motorcycles, buses, cars, and trucks all sharing the road. All of that, and traffic rules are pretty much considered optional.

63. In fact, rules are optional. You only obey them when there might be a penalty for getting caught breaking them.

64. There is a worse danger of spoiled rich child here because children, particularly sons, are pampered until they get married. Be advised.

65. Politics is about money (surprise) and popularity.

66. Religion is a tool used by political parties (another surprise).

67. Beggars are everywhere...and there are all kinds of issues surrounding giving them money.

68. Motorcycles aren't so scary at low speeds.

69. Monkeys are aggressive and the brown ones are down right evil. Blackfaced white ones are good luck

70. Elephants are good luck.

71. Every action boils down to whether it is a good idea considering your sign, number, and whether it is an auspicious time to complete such an action.

72. The first invitation to a major event always goes to the gods.

73. Ganesh is usually portrayed with a rat because he is the god of hospitality and the remover of obstacles, and if you're doing well, you'll always have a rat suckling up to you.

74. Business in India corrupts the soul when it involves working with politicians. Fair is a bad word in that arena.

75. Every person is on their own path. Thus, it doesn't matter what you do, and often doesn't matter how your actions affect other people. You only act in consideration of others if it feels good to you. There is no incentive to do so.

76. Skin conditions are 'allergies.' If you have something that is a hereditary or even a non-contractable disease, don't tell people. You'll be stigmatized something close to 'leper.'

77. Kerala is a charmed state. Visit it if you can.

78. Goa is the only place in India where it is safe for a woman to be on her own. Otherwise you are dependent on male protectors.

79. Public space is male dominated. Night is not safe for women in most areas.

80. Violence is a part of everyday life. After all, there's so many people, with so many differences, it's bound to happen sometime. It's a miracle it doesn't happen more than it does.

81. Most people have something they want from you. Be explicit in what you are able or not able to give them.

82. Most vendors will try to rip you off if you are white. Take an Indian to bargain with them, or just ask for a significantly lower rate. Or speak to them in Hindi. You'll come out alright.

83. Discuss religion and/or politics with care.

84. Discuss anything with high status men with care. They will likely not listen to/dismiss you, say something that is untrue or infuriating, as well as not let you even speak.

85. If you're nice and genuine you can make anything happen here.

86. Organizations run differently - be advised that it will take several meetings before anything substantial happens.

87. Mornings are slow. Everything happens in the afternoon or evening.

88.Your actions are your business, so as long as they don't affect others close to you in an adverse way, you can pretty much get away with anything.

89. Money and connections are the inroads here. Without them, you're SOL.

90. Trash is everywhere. Garbage cans are optional.

91. Grime is everywhere. Cleaning is optional.

92. Sikh temples are clean and they give you a free and tasty lunch. What a lovely religion!

93. You can get every clothing item custom made. Think merino wool suit custom tailored, for $50.

94. Forget about good cheap sunglasses. Fashion imports are ridiculously expensive.

95. Every space is a potential place for expression. Why shouldn't things be decorated?

96. Infrastructure may not work properly, but at least we have the internet and cell phones!

97. Arranged marriage happens primarily in provencial areas. Now most marriages are assisted (so you meet and date a couple times and then get married).

98. There are so many butterflies here. In colors and combinations I had never seen.

99. Beauty can be found in unexpected times and places. You just need to be open to it.

100. Life is full of surprises. Don't be afraid to invite them and accept them. It could be that someone has gifts, blessings, and opportunities lined up for you, if only you're ready for them.
Namaste!

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