You may remember I was strongly considering seminary. I've decided to hold off on applying. I say this knowing that in 5 minutes time I may come to a completely different conclusion, and it is for that reason I think I cannot and should not go. With a mind so torn and a heart so hesitant, it seems it is not the right place or time.
That said, I know even as I told a friend of mine today, that ministers are not only made but are born. In fact, in many ways, it is much more likely to be born a minister than to be made into one. As a mentor and friend told me, one is a minister through action. A person can act a pastor without having the title "pastor" (just as, unfortunately, the opposite can hold true).
My love has always been to spread compassion and to move and transform conflict. My personal choices have always been around social change and understanding between people. Now it seems even more so, I find the difference between when I talk about seminary (which makes me anxious) and when I talk about interfaith dialogue, peace, and social change through interfaith cooperation.
As I explore some of the thoughts in Zen and The Art of Making a Living I find myself hopeful by the fact that yes, pursuing interfaith dialogue and cooperation is a fool's errand. It is so large, and so wonderful people find it to be too good to be true. Yet there are small interfaith groups sprouting up all over the world and all over our own country. It was only 100 years ago that Vivekananda spoke in Chicago about moving past petty differences and seeking those points of similarity between faiths. Some thought he was silly, others thought he had a point. At the time, nothing really became of it. Now we have movies like Kingdom of Heaven showing both poor interaction between faiths and successful cooperation between them. There is no doubt we have a long road ahead of us, and there is equally no doubt that we have traveled far.
Some might question my personal conviction regarding my own faith. "How can you say these others have any validity? You must not be a true Christian." To them I say this, have you truly wrestled with your convictions? Have you battled your demons of doubt and come out triumphant? When you have done this, then you are truly a person of your faith. A person born into a faith who has never questioned their faith completely and fully, cannot question a person who went out into their desert for 40 days and came out carried by angels. If you have not questioned, you cannot claim. If you cannot claim, you are not. You may tend towards a faith, but you are not ready to live the faith. You are not really ready to strive to become a better person. You are not ready to seek a deep and thoughtful relationship with the divine.
God is too large for any one person to know completely. To assume we know God's entire will would be foolhardy and presumptive. To assume that my way is the only way is foolish and presumptive. To say that I have the spiritual patent on truth is preposterous.
I do believe in my heart of hearts that Jesus' teachings and YHWH's Kingdom are the best and most direct path to God and spiritual truth. I will not deny it. However, I cannot say that Christianity is the best way for Indians, Chinese, and Egyptians. Cultural context is important. Geographical history is important. Family is important. Politics (sorry it's true) are important. Socio-economics are important. All these factors contribute to a situation where one faith may be a better (or direct) path to the Divine.
In the end, it is not which path we took, but it is the fact that we took a path at all that matters.
In Zen and The Art of Making a Living the author talks about how each person must interact with 4 Jungian archetypes (or primary myths). One of them, and the most important beginning, is the Hero. NOTE: It turns out "hero" and "heretical" are etymologically related. Huh. It makes me feel a little better about my fierce independence.
The Hero is the one who journeys. He (or she) strives after the idea, the goal, the dream. It may be a "fool's errand" and the Hero is ridiculed because often the thing worth striving for is the thing that seems most unlikely to the socially conventional. However, with persistence (especially through another archetype, the Warrior) it can be realized. Even through failure the Hero is successful because they journeyed. Heroes lay themselves out bare and naked and vulnerable. The journey can be a lonely one, especially at those times of fierce ridicule. Still...
I've said before and I'll say it again. You may not be happy doing your calling. BUT once you've heard your call, you can't be happy doing anything else.
This is a prayerful poem I wrote today:
Heart of hearts,
Find me like a heat-seeking missile
Destroying the false
Pretense
That which would lead me astray.
Leave only that of the purest call
Lonely
Hauntingly
Leading me
Embracingly
I become.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
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2 comments:
Well, this sounds enough like a sermon to me. Your pep talk certainly make it sound appealing to give a heroic effort in pursuit of our calling.
But in the case of interfaith dialogue (or maybe of any dialogue) it seems that there is a certain openness and questioning that you have to have about your own beliefs before you can authentically engage in discussion. If you 'know the truth', even if it is only about yourself, how can you can you really listen (other than as some disengaged anthropologist)?
Another thing, lots of people seem to come out of the wilderness burned and bitter. And fools recently returned from errands all to often seem defensive or delusional.
-Keep up the fun posts! You certainly have my respect for saying whats on your mind.
Anyone could preach a sermon... some just prefer to hold the "Rev" or "Pastor" before their name.
There is a certain openness required, undoubtedly. There is also a certain acceptance that is required. So when a person shares their spiritual journey, we can say, "YES! I know you have felt God's presence and experienced his touch, even if I could not should I experience the same thing."
Perhaps the wilderness is a curing experience - a purifying act. Those fools who survive in one piece go on to be heroes. I've run into quite a few people who are so delusional, and I wonder why I have survived such a fire? What was it that hurt them so deeply they were unable to continue on? What was it that led them away from the church or God never to return?
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