A New List of Sins for Today

At the risk of sounding profoundly simplistic and overly black and white in my faith I have decided to post a little list of sins, and if there is a hell, people who commit these without repentance, apology, or reconciliation get a special place in it.

This is prompted by the fact that a jury just found the woman who drunk drove and killed our friend Justin Sharp "not guilty of all charges." She made an illegal U turn on a highway and Justin was simply unable to avoid colliding with her car. Because if justice cannot be found in this world, it must be found in the next.

This list is in no particular order.

1) Inconsideration of other people. So that means people who talk during movies - yes, because you talk without thinking about the people around you. It also includes people who don't use their turn signal, talk on cell-phones while driving, text while driving, don't clean up their messes.

2) Disregarding the feelings of others. This is a corollary to the above.

3) Hate - of homosexuals, of fat people, of people who are different because it makes you uncomfortable, of anyone at all

4) Greed - for candy, for money

5) Lust - because a thousand nights with a thousand different women in a thousand different positions will never make you happy

6) Irresponsibility - that is, being reckless, doing things without using common sense, being flippant, or neglecting your obligations and your commitments (that includes divorce because you married for the wrong reasons or just don't want to work at your relationship)

7) Being a defense attorney - they're actually evil.

8) Being a part of an insurance company that swindles people - because pretty much, they all do.

9) Being a loan officer. Sorry guys, but basically you're swindling people too if you're collecting interest. This is an old stand-by sin too.

10) Killing someone.

11) Killing someone without apologizing.

12) Being a part of a jury who denies justice from being done.

13) Male chauvinists - this goes along with the hate thing.

14) Sexual Assault and/or Rape - beyond a doubt one of the most terrible (and common) things a person can do to another person where the victim remains alive.

15) Abuse - it doesn't matter what kind.

16) Lying to the detriment of others. Because really, honesty is the best policy for the community, and for your relationships. If you can't tell the truth, don't say anything at all.

17) Telling hurtful jokes - it's only funny if everyone is laughing.

18) Making assumptions. JUST ASK a person what's going on before acting on it. By robbing a person of choice you can cause suffering - and it's intentional while done without thought or care.

19) Being excessively rich when there are people dying from preventable diseases, war, hunger, and thirst.

20) Purposefully hurting someone, and/or delighting in it.

21) Watching someone be hurt and not doing anything about it.

22) Being violent - it's not okay. It's a vehicle for hurt.

23) Defiling your body. What does that mean? Your body really is a temple. Why would you alter your brain to something unrecognizable by ingesting chemicals? Why would you try to escape yourself so much? How could you hate yourself so much to destroy one of God's beautiful creations?

24) Polluting the environment - that includes but is not limited to using disposable paper products when it is avoidable, eating food that was mass produced and shipped to you from a far off place, littering, participating in a process that puts smog in the air, not making use of green technology as it is available and accessible to you, using excessive amounts of energy.

25) Refusing to help people when they need it and you are able to give it.

That's the end of my little list. I can't think of anything else at the moment. I think it covers the major sins and the ones that are so prevalent in our society today. May God forgive those who recognize and feel the depth of the wrongs they commit. Those who do not truly understand, well... may the powers deal with you justly.

Amen.

Drawer dividers and other suggestions

With the upcoming wedding, my and my parents' respective moves, the house is in a state of semi-frenzied activity. Stuff is everywhere (well, as much as it can be in my mother's house). Old items are being reconfigured. Useless items (both in good condition and in bad) are triaged: donated, sold, or thrown-out. In preparation for my parents' new house, they've also gotten a couple books at bargain discounts (of course) on organization and patios. I won't bother talking about patios because that only interests those of us who own homes and want to pave half their backyard (or are required to by whatever circumstances present).

So after an evening of running around doing wedding stuff I came back and sat down on the overstuffed leather chair with a glass of Velvet Moon (or some such thing) with Jon Stewart in the background and perused the Home Depot organizing book.

The next morning I decided to do what I had let undone for sometime - to finish updating my goal board. I put up two of the mostly completed portions onto the cork board. For some reason this started off a train of frenzied work that lasted the whole day. Needless to say there's still a great deal of work to be done, because uncluttered surfaces do not necessarily mean uncluttered drawers.

The realization was multi-layered. I figured out why my mother and father have conflicting organizational styles. My mother can do "closed storage" - my dad can't. I can do closed depending on the room/items. For example, my clothing in my dresser - not a problem. The items in my desk...well I'm not sure if that's because I have a barrier of stuff between me and the desk, or if it's actually just the stuff in there. Papers are definitely invisible when in a folder hidden in a drawer. This of course is a problem for the simple reason that important documentation is frequently in a paper form. Let's not even get into the problem of electronic filing systems which really are invisible, and frequently inaccessible due to my primordial lap-top.

So I decided that I should invest in some drawer dividers. I started doing it with my socks and hair ties so why shouldn't I do it with pens and staplers? Seems logical. Now the only question is, do we make it into a fun little project where Christian (my future husband) gets to make little wooden boxes or do we just pay whatever it costs to get some modular drawer boxes/drawer organizing trays? And then, should I extend the dividers to include not only my socks and hair ties but also my shirts and lounge wear for example?

Can you tell this is how I'm exerting control over my tousled life?

My everyday lounge: The Sarong

So I've been stressing out quite a bit, seeing as I'm getting married, moving, and just graduated. However I will say that one of the keys to NOT stressing out too much is environment. That includes music, organization, people, food, exercise, lighting, and even your clothing. I'm going to take this moment to advertise for one of the most versatile pieces of clothing ever, the sarong.

It's just a glorified scarf, but oh the wonders of such a wardrobe piece! And those of you who are feeling a little elitist, and think, "Oh, why wear a piece of cloth worth 5$ around that was styled in South Asia?!" You all have a LOT of learning to do...

This neck knot style using a full sarong is my fave for lounging around the house or covering up at the beach...

For some alternative configurations, I suggest trying the short skirt option. This basically consists of folding the full sarong and then tying.


Or the more traditional full skirt is probably slightly less "risque" and therefore may be more comfortable for the newly inducted sarong wearer.

However the wearing fun has just begun. Because a sarong can also be worn or used as a turban, a scarf, a headband, used as a towel, a light blanket, a baby sling (though perhaps that should only be used in a real pinch) a bag (if you're feeling creative), or even a curtain.

This last style is one that I haven't really tried to pull off, but now that I've seen these handy-dandy pics I think I might give it a go.
This is "toga" style, which involves wrapping underneath and over in a way that I will have to spend some time figuring out... as of now however, it eludes me. But, that shouldn't stop you from trying the same thing. Here is a shot of the front and the back...


Good luck and enjoy the relaxing and versatile wonderful world of sarongs. I'll be quietly freaking out as I try to make playlists for the reception dinner hour.

Grouchy Grudges, and the Grudging Grouches that Hold them

This includes myself. I hold grudges. For whatever reason, I can't seem to get over the stupid things. I hold them, and hold them, analyze and re-evaluate. But for whatever reason, once it's formed, or once there has been significant tension, it stays. That's right - the folder has been made, flagged, and filed. Permanently.

Think about it like this: compare relationships to driving. Unless the person involved changes drastically, through some large action is able to erase their previous record, like the DMV points system, their record is marked. Insurance costs rise - it takes more effort to maintain the relationship. That's when people try to bend the rules by putting cars in someone else's name to avoid the high costs, or buy a smaller vehicle, or forget insurance altogether. After all, the other person is responsible, right? They burned THEIR bridges. It's not ME. I'm NOT the one at fault. HA! But have you seen the way people have been driving their relationships? "Let me get into my giant gas-guzzling monstrosity and NOT use my blinker, NOT look either direction, CUT you off, SPEED, RUN lights, AND apply make-up all while talking on my cell phone." Yeah, we're maintaining our relationships well. Stupid grudges.

Why do I mention this? For a few reasons. One is that the popular site Facebook has gotten me to review these grudges in a more upsetting way than ever before. That is, you can reinvigorate your grudges by creating a profile and becoming friends with the people you liked from elementary school, your work, college, or geography, and exclude the nasties (from similar spheres and times). So, old wounds are revitalized. I get this gnawing feeling in my gut when I look at some people's pages, because, even though the event is years past, it's still incredibly real and present to me (maybe even worse) for the simple fact that closure never occurred. There was no recognition of the feelings involved. There was no end, no completion, no finish. And so any time I hear about these people, their lives, etc., I carry it around with me.

Now, there's no question this is by far the STUPIDEST thing a person can do. Why wallow in events that occurred years and years ago? Why does it matter who got married to whom, where they moved to, who broke up with whom, who has kids, how many pirates are under their control etc? It doesn't. Practically, these people are figments of my electronic imagination. Their worlds are only as real as the images created and shown on this silly machine.

The thing is, I hate conflict. I talk big. People who know me know I like to say inflammatory things and push the envelop when it comes to other people's lives. The reality is I hate fights. I hate bringing up things that cause tension unless I know I can weather through the argument without any wounds on either side. I've made situations worse because I could not bring myself to address issues and so I avoided people and situations that would give rise to those issues.

Now I wonder if people would really cause the problems I think they would cause. Am I right to exclude people from my life completely because they make me a little uncomfortable? Should I break down a grudge (if it's reciprocal or onesided, mine or the other person's) because it heals 2 or 3 people, even if it causes discomfort for a large group?

It came to my attention this past weekend that sometimes it doesn't matter what we do, what we say, or how we approach a situation. I don't like that idea. I've fought against that idea, like so many young people, for as long as I knew the idea was there. Problems are there to be fixed, and there has to be something in my control that I can change to rectify the situation. Unfortunately, most of the time we just have to give in to God and let fate, the Universe, and the Powers take the courses meant to be taken. *Resignation.* Sort of.

We do what we can. So I wrote letters. I message walls. I give gifts. I smile encouragingly. I try to get past the awkward situations I and others created and heal what is left. That's all I can do. And I hope that others are willing to do the same.

love, blessings, and peace.

A