Church Search 5: Cold Water Church

Earlier this week, after my Church Search 3 posting, I received an message on the Facebook from Chris, the pastor of a new church plant in Avondale. You see, I had joined an emerging church group on the Facebook simply in order to post to the wall that we were looking for a church and did anyone know of a group meeting in our part of Phoenix. It seems Chris had posted a similar message about a month earlier. Needless to say, when he saw my post, he must have researched me a bit because his message was very thoughtful:

"We are a small new church plant that has fairly traditional services in a school. By traditional, I mean we meet sunday mornings, we sing songs and someone, usually myself, preaches. My own roots are charismatic and non denominational but certainly there are folks from diverse backgrounds with in our group. I might label myself "post-charismatic" or even confess being a "recovering pharisee", meaing I know I haven't figured it out and I have some of the same frustrations you blogged about. Feel free to check out these websites, maybe listen to a sermon, and find out if we'd be worth checking out. We may be too far. I do want you to know none of our folks wear guns to church and we do not and will not hand out political propaganda. Hope you find a community where you can grow in faith, hope, and love."

After we read that, we both thought "Yeah, we should try this place." After all, we really have nothing to lose at this point. Well, Avondale is not so far by Phoenix standards (30 minutes from us) so we planned our Sunday morning out, set our alarm clocks and braced ourselves.

Cold Water doesn't have it's own building. They meet in a school. This was not a problem for us, though Christian was surprised. "You can have churches meet in schools? Isn't that against the separation of church and state?" I wasn't surprised as there is a very cool church in Santa Barbara that also meets in a school.

When we got there, there was a banner at the outside gate, and another showing us which part of the parking lot to use (the entrance to the multi-purpose room is in the back of the school, so it makes sense to park in the back). As soon as we entered the building there were kids of a variety of ages running around and playing. This caused us to smile.

In the middle of the room were several rows of folding chairs. At the front on the lefthand side there was a keyboard, several mics on stands, and a guitar in a stand. In the center was a cross-shaped podium with mic. On the right were tables with a lap-top, sound board, and a digital projector (this pointed towards a section of white wall).

Almost as soon as we walked in, we were greeted by Chris. A second or so later another church member came up to talk to us, and within a few minutes, everyone had said hello and asked us a few questions. Everyone was somewhere in their mid-twenties, at the max early thirties. Most of the members were new transplants from California, newly married, and/or had small children. Also a number of children from the neighborhood had come (they were probably between 8 and 12 years old). There was a table to the side with water, juice, fruit, and coffee cake. Church started late (which we were informed is normal) and began with singing a number of songs. They were mostly songs I knew, and it was clear the music was being led by the person who played a musical instrument (we're talking a small church plant that is still trying to figure out its groove. There's potential, and room for improvement). In between songs there were some prayers.

Then Chris got up and it felt as if he was speaking directly to us (though it may have been that he was just inspired by some of the thoughts from my blog, I'm not sure). The passage was from Numbers where Miriam and Aaron are criticizing Moses for taking a Cushite wife. He talked about how this was not a passage to highlight that God is going to punish us because he likes punishing us, or that we should be punished, but rather that suffering happens so we can move forward, not backward. Rather it serves a reminder. He was careful to mention that women are important and share leadership through out the Bible (I really think he must have read that other post) and ironically this is the one passage where Miriam has screwed up (but he noted, she did a number of other GOOD things through out the Exodus story). He also emphasized the entire encampment waits for her to get done with her time-out (7 days of quarantine) and they leave once she comes back.

He went on to say that criticism should happen in a time and a place where it is necessary and helpful. There are several questions we should ask ourselves when we are contemplating criticism. For example, is it hurtful or helpful? What would God have us do? Are you criticizing the person or the person's actions? (grin, Christian couldn't remember but suggests "Write things down" "Ask someone else if this is a good idea" "Flip a coin"). Mostly, the point was to have filters on what you say and how you say things, i.e. pragmatism.

When Chris was talking he had his security blanket (some papers with notes at least, if not a full manuscript on the podium) but mostly he walked around and talked very personably and realistically about the passage, tied it to Jesus' teachings, and to life in the 21st century.

After church we talked with members, helped them put away chairs etc, and were then invited to join their lunch group (Dad, sound familiar?). We went to Red Robin as there's really only chain restaurants in the area and at least one of our number was veggie (I think) and apparently there are veggie options at Red Robin (I could be inventing this because it was discussed in non-specific terms, but implied).

At lunch we talked about all kinds of things. Christian discovered a number of the guys at the church have LAN parties regularly (at least once a quarter). They had all kinds of "nerd" things to talk about. Meanwhile I chatted with the women about callings, jobs, kids etc. From the middle of our time together towards the end we talked about wine, food, and of course, a whole lot of church. It was pretty clear from all the conversation that everyone was accepting and interested in diversity of opinions, and that we were safely in an emerging kind of setting.

On the car ride home Christian and I talked about our impressions. Something came up that I hadn't really thought about previously, but is sort of a no-brainer. You need to feel like you have potential friends at a church. Why would you join a church where you wouldn't really fit in or wouldn't make connections? At Cold Water, we felt like we could be friends with everyone. It was a positive welcoming environment. There are definite kinks to work out, as would be expected with a new church plant, but there's an overwhelming amount of potential, and as Christian and I discussed on our car ride, we felt like we could bring our non-church friends to Cold Water (and they'd like it). Plus we're interested to see where it will go in a year's time. We'd both feel comfortable returning, and we both feel like we could contribute to the overall growth and health of the church community.

So what does Cold Water get on our wine spectrum? It's not the wedding at Cana, but it's probably an 8 right now, and with a little nurturing and caring, it could very well be a Beckman Purisima in a few years.

Church Search 4: Paradise Valley Community Church

This is basically a non-entry. It was the second attempt to attend this church, and again was a failure. We had been given several times, went to a couple of them on Saturday night, and no one was in the parking lot. I don't know if the services had been moved to someone's home or something (as the times we were given were for a new start-up semi-emerging church service).

Needless to say, if you want to start a church, you should have a public way to communicate your meeting times. It should not reside solely with the pastor. In fact, a sign on the church would be a good idea. As it stands, PVCC (I know) receives a non-rating, because they couldn't even get us into the door.

"Bow String Closed, Use Arrow Drive"

This past weekend, as mentioned in my last post, we were able to go up to Sedona/Flagstaff. It was one of those kismet things. We thought we weren't able to because of finances, but then we landed a sweet deal - a friend of my in-laws has a condo in Sedona (on a golf course, of course) and said we could stay there no problem. So we ended up with about 3000 sq ft all to ourselves. We ate some good steak (sorry veggies, I like meat) at a random Route 66 themed steakhouse in Williams, some awesome pie at another place in Williams and slept like rocks (grin) on Saturday night. Spending time with Christian's family was a blessing. Even when our youngest nephew was squealing at the top of his lungs, it was refreshing to be around people we know care about us.

When we finally did have a chance to explore Sedona, the place was under construction making it feel inaccessible. We did check out Tlaquepaque, took a bunch of pictures (which we would totally upload if we could find our camera cable), and had a beer sampler at the brew house. Unfortunately it got to me, so much so that the elevation, dehydration and beer combination caused a migraine. It was the first time I ever saw flashing lights/sparkles with a migraine. Awesome.

A point of interest for us was the fact that everyone in Sedona was "comfortable." It was tourists and second (or seventh in the case of McCain) home owners. Everyone was very attractive, and no one really gave us a second look, or if they did, it was done covertly. It felt like Santa Barbara in many ways.

Needless to say, the return to Phoenix was a bit jarring. The heat not only bowled us over (Flagstaff being at 7000' was nearly COLD) but coming back to the apartment was depressing. Our stuff is still all over the place (by my standards). Many items (like my poor harp) haven't yet found their home. We still had no AC (although today we were given a window unit that has insufficient capacity to cool our entire apartment). Our refrigerator still doesn't seal. Our soap dish in the shower is still not cemented into the stall. We still don't have a vacuum (though the cost of a good vacuum is somewhat prohibitive) and I'm not sure how much good it will really do considering the mess the previous tenants left.

The only benefit to our return on Monday was meeting with a Christian couple who have connections to my dad's church in Santa Barbara. They were lovely and our conversation was encouraging. In fact, all of our dinner dates with couples in Phoenix have been somewhat encouraging. The only problem is they all live 45 minutes to an hour away. Sigh.

My favorite time in the day has become our pre-dinner prayer. It's helped to put things in perspective. Whether Christian or I are praying, we always try to emphasize the good parts of the day, and to re-frame the bad, thanking God for the whole thing.

So even when Bow String is closed (a road in Sedona), at least there's Arrow Drive.

Church Search 3: Lamb of God Bible Church

As I will note in a later posting, we were able to go north to Flagstaff to spend a weekend with Christian's parents and his sister's family. So instead of pursuing our church search in Phoenix, we were invited to go to our in-laws' church. At the outset I decided that no matter what the church was like, it would be helpful in determining exactly what we were looking for. I asked Corinna (my sister in-law) if it would be okay for me to blog about the church, and to my delight she said I should and to be completely honest and truthful.

Sweet.

After we were in the church, I was very thankful I had gotten her permission beforehand.

Lamb of God Bible Church is a charismatic nondenominational "Bible-believing" (whatever that means/implies... - it's posted on their website) church. The church is set in what looks to be a little strip-mall location, with a large banner sign on the front. We parked behind the building and then walked to the side (which I think is the alternative entry-way, though I didn't explore the premises).

When we went into the hallway, our youngest two nephews were siphoned off to Sunday school (or Junior Church - something of this type) while we entered the worship space (where praise songs were already being sung). My sister-in-law got a sticker for some political thing from the greeter (I didn't pay much attention at the time). Christian and I were introduced to the greeter without much fanfare. She didn't try to give me a sticker (good call on her part I think). We walked down one of the two side aisles to the aisle between the stage (where the worship band was) and the seating. There standing in this walkway was a group of teens singing and motioning along with the music rather spiritedly. We were then introduced to the pastor's wife, a petite woman with short very red hair. She was all smiles and obviously couldn't really hear what Corinna was saying, but she was welcoming despite.

We finally located a row which could accommodate us (which happened to be on the far left - irony of ironies - and to the front next to one of the music speakers). We promptly joined in with the singing which was led by a well-practiced band. The songs were simple, both in lyrics and melody, but seemed to cause quite emotional outpourings from the congregation. They were a little low on substance for my taste. Every now and then the pastor or a song leader would either pray or have a little talk about the songs. One of the prayers mentioned Satan and Jesus' blood covering Jesus' people. Needless to say, my eyebrows raised.

In between songs (and during) there were also many verbal outpourings from the congregation ("yes lord" "alleluia" or some personal prayers) which were accompanied by raised arms and palms or sometimes even kneeling (those young in the front). A couple of songs discussed blood, and one seemed more like a song meant for a lover, which I felt odd about.

The senior pastor at one point during this long praise-sing came up to us and Corinna introduced us. He was all smiles and very welcoming. At another mid-point we were instructed to hug 5 people and say hello/bless them. This was interesting, and worked fairly well. I hugged Christian and Elijah (who felt he needed to count his) and then hugged a couple of nearby women and one woman who was to the side with a walker in front of her. Everyone from the congregation were all smiles and again, surprise surprise, very welcoming. I think Christian saved himself some personal discomfort by extending his hand for a shake before some of the congregants could hug him. This was mildly entertaining to watch.

I should say, besides the band on stage, there were two projector screens, one on either side, a plexiglass podium in the middle, as well as 2 huge "Yes on 102" signs (again one on either side).

After the singing was finished, (or some other inbetween time) there was a profession of faith which seemed okay, so I recited it. Then the senior pastor (whose name I cannot remember because I'm not sure it was mentioned) gave a very complimentary introduction to the speaker (the junior pastor?) Daniel. Corinna told me that his father is a Baptist minister, so he could be long-winded. Hmm.

He started talking about all kinds of things. At first, he seemed to be alright. I couldn't argue with anything he was saying, at first. He was talking about how Jesus was the lawyer pleading our case, drawing out testimony from witnesses to set us free (this is a gross simplification, but it was hardly the bulk of his sermon so I won't spend very much time on this). He then transitioned into how he had a very serious topic to discuss and how he would likely step on people's toes.

This topic was Proposition 102. Seeing as we weren't really sure what that was, it was a bit ambiguous to us what he was getting at. It was pretty clear though after about five minutes. He started off saying that he thinks there are allusions to Jesus throughout the Old Testament (and went on to cite a few). He then mentioned how marriage is discussed throughout the Bible (beginning with Genesis, where he believes Jesus is first mentioned). Of course he mentioned "God created them, man and woman...". This led into a discussion of how society has gone astray and gone into clear rebellion which can be discerned by the fact that 85% of people (a number which came from somewhere I cannot begin to guess) find gay marriage to be acceptable (except he didn't use the word "gay" or even "homosexual" he always said "two men" or "two women"). He then went on to say that Massachusetts (thank GOD ONE STATE at LEAST has it right!) requires kindergartners to read a book called "Heather Has Two Mommies" (this was greeted by shocked sounds from the congregation). He also said that some say female and male genetics are very similar and therefore it's easy to see how homosexuality occurs. That of course implies God made people this way, which Daniel argued this is really not the case (the implication being that homosexuality iss some sort of disease or something). He stated that because as God's people we know the truth, we need to stand up and fight and share that truth (the truth being here that marriage should be between a man and a woman).

Daniel (glare) dropped the problem of same-sex marriage and then turned to problematic straight marriages (well at least he was giving equal air time). He said that 55% of marriages performed in churches end in divorce (again I have no idea where this number came from). He said people marry for the wrong reasons and don't enter into it in thoughtful contemplation (or something to that effect) and that he would not marry a couple he did not think ready (nor would the senior pastor).

He then discussed how the Church was likened to a bride and Jesus the groom, and how marriages between ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN should be similar. This line of logic somehow got us to our marriages (that is any Christian's) is a reflection of our relationship with Jesus and God. Women are supposed to submit to their husbands, and men are supposed to submit to God. If your marriage is a mess, obviously your relationship with God is a mess.

He also said that because women in many marriages don't submit to their husbands, this was causes a lack of satisfaction in them, and this is the kind of thing that led to the feminist movement. If those women had submitted happily to their husbands, they wouldn't have felt the need... apparently.

He concluded that as people of faith, we needed to translate our beliefs to actions (otherwise they mean nothing, with which I can agree). So as Christians we need to "stand up and stand out". We need to listen to what God says to us, open our hearts, and take action (let me tell you I was feeling that statement right then like you couldn't believe).

At some point (which I can't recall) he talked about how Jesus was all we needed and with belief in him, profound miracles could occur (I think this was going back to a song sung during the praise time). He said he knew a lady who had been filled with cancer, and that she was told by doctors that she would die. He said the next time she went to the doctor, they scanned her and she was healed. This REALLY angered both Christian and I because we know so many wonderful people of faith who have died of all manner of illnesses etc "before their time". Someone like that, were they bad? Were they just not good enough? Ridiculous. We can't presume to know God's plan, or the reasons. We can only do and try our best. God takes the good and the bad and works beauty and majesty into this world ("crisis" can also mean "opportunity").

Well, the service was ended with an altar call, which after all the fanfare made me depressed as opposed to joyful (as everyone else was). In any case, a man came forward and they prayed over him etc.

*Deep Breath*

Okay, so basically this man, this awful misled man named Daniel, made me cry. Why did I cry in the middle of this service? Why did I feel the INCREDIBLE urge to WALK OUT (I didn't because we came with Corinna's family etc)?

He missed the boat. He totally missed the WHOLE POINT TO THE GOSPEL.

He ALSO missed discussing or THINKING about the WHOLE REASON FOR MARRIAGE.

Jesus was not a sacrifice. He was not a cow or an offering at a temple altar. His blood was not spilled over the altar or the devotees in some kind of ecstatic orgy. He died to show us the way. His whole message was one of PEACE and RADICAL LOVE. He hung out with PROSTITUTES, TAX COLLECTORS, LEPERS, and DEMONIACS. WHO DO YOU THINK THESE PEOPLE WOULD BE TODAY???? What do you REALLY think he would do? How do you think he would REALLY act here and now?

Homosexuality is not evil. Sorry, but it's not. It doesn't hurt people. It doesn't divide communities (at least not on it's own, hateful perverse homophobes do).

Each person is just that, a person, with their own personality traits, dreams, motivations, fears, strengths and weaknesses. Just as we can't make huge blanket statements about African Americans, Mexican Americans, disabled persons, and people with blue eyes, we cannot make blanket statements about gay/lesbian/bi/transexual people.

How would you feel if the person you loved was in the hospital and you were prevented from visiting them because only spouses and family were allowed in? How do you think it would feel, if because you had brown hair, and your boyfriend had blonde, you weren't allowed to get married? You could watch your friends of same hair color get married, but you couldn't. Why should we prevent loving, compassionate, productive relationships from becoming permanent? Do you think Jesus would say that we should prevent such beautiful things from being in this world? Because, obviously we don't need any more love in this world. We're doing great!

Our world is over-populated. Marriage in this time and place is not about copulation. Same-sex marriage cannot reproduce (unless through test-tubes, which is not exactly cheap or easy).

The argument that heterosexual marriage is best is just false. People are not committed to making things work the way they used to be. I've seen (sorry to step on anyone's toes) committed long-standing healthy relationships in gay couples while simultaneously seeing destructive, adulterous, short-lived relationships happen with straight couples. Hmm. You know, Jesus came right out and said divorce was a sin. I think that's more destructive to communities, children, and individuals involved than same-sex marriage.

As far as women submitting, let's just say that if anything is going to happen, marriage needs to be a partnership. It is not a singular submission - it is each submitting to the other, submitting to the identity of "couple" rather than "individual". One is not the head of the household. Not in this country and culture.

And if women not submitting is the cause of the women's movement (which one, by the way? because there's been a few waves...) and it really should never have happened, I am very concerned about Daniel's mental health. Has he realized that the 19th century ended a few years ago? Did he realize that the word in the original Jewish passage of Genesis is not "helpmate" (whatever the hell that is supposed to mean!) but translated literally is "savior". Yes, Eve was Adam's SAVIOR (thank you Church fathers writing women out of things! You guys are really freakin awesome!). I don't know about you ladies, but I'm pretty sure my husband would agree that I have saved his butt quite a few times, and damn it, it's my job. He'd be lost without me. I think you've had a similar experience, because frankly, it's true. I could continue this line of logic down through that whole story but I think you can draw the natural conclusion - the Tree of Knowledge and the result from eating the apple was a GOOD thing.

So where does this painful experience lie on our wine-bottle spectrum - Christian suggests "I don't spit, but there are exceptions." I have to agree, this was probably the worst experience I could have possibly had in a church setting, as we were basically told we were going to hell (in not so many words) about 30 different ways (Christian pipes in, "We were told how we're supposed to vote!").

If you're conservative, and you like the charismatic sort of thing... you might want to look into this. However, if you believe people should be loved, that there is one God (and not a lesser evil god outside of God's control by the name of 'Satan') and that the Bible is meant to be interpretted for the times, and Jesus' teachings are the standard by which you should measure things (NOT the O.T. or even Paul's letters for that matter) this is NOT the place for you.

May God use all bad experiences and turn them into positive things. May God take the ugly and turn it into beauty, and saddness into joy.

Amen.

Beyond Hoopla & Disappointment: Some Election Rhetoric

I haven't written very much about politics here. The subject is almost as difficult for me as religion (though somehow I got over that barrier with flying colors). I have written this in response to a note on Facebook (yes yes...I know) and the prompting of an interesting editorial.

There's been quite a lot of talk about all manner of things regarding our current presidential nominees and their vice-presidential picks. I'm not very good about making comments on the political parties (I don't feel either one of them speaks for me, which is why I am registered with neither), and I won't claim to have some sort of hand on the pulse of the times (or even my generation). I will only say this: there are some realities which can be deduced from my seat, or any person possessing some common sense and a bit of logical reasoning.

1. Elections in a democratic republic should be about the population voting for the candidate who is best for the country, geography, locale etc.
2. There are certain issues which are more important than others, some of which can be affected by decisions at the federal level. Decisions at the federal level in these issues will have a direct impact on everyone's lives. I'm thinking in this case of war, health-care, social security, and the economy (read more specifically: our trade deficit and our GROSS national debt).
3. It is in our best interest, as a country, and as people, to vote for a candidate who will use good judgment in his (or her) decision-making process. That is, he or she will use a combination of expert advisors, care, reason, deliberation, consideration, and experience to cast these judgments. It is the correct balance of these attributes that will guide us through the next four years.
4. It is in our interest to educate ourselves about the candidates as resources and time permit.
   
5. It is in our interest to educate ourselves regarding these important issues and how the current state of affairs is impacting people's lives. We can, logically and soundly see just by viewing an American newspaper, understand that the economy is "tanking." We can see how poor decision-making processes have impacted the lives of military families (as well as the lives of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis and Afghans). These things are obvious even to a poorly informed person. It's not rocket science. We're hated the world over.
   
6. I have to say it because it has been bothering me to NO END. The current Republican candidate is NOT a family values man. He is DIVORCED. He met his current wife WHILE HE WAS MARRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN.... He is RICH. He has multiple properties. How can he possibly speak for the average American? How can he possibly know what's going on with people? This party is not a party of the people - it's a party for corporations!!! The Democrats aren't much better, but they are SLIGHTLY better. They have at least tried to address health-care. The Democratic candidate has worked with people laid off from their jobs, where corporations have up and left. He is a self-made man. He has had ONE WIFE. He HAS NOT TAKEN HUGE CORPORATE BUY-OFFS (unlike the Republican candidate). His campaign has been funded by grass-roots donations.
   
7. Beyond the more substantive qualities, I must also confess an addiction to the great orator. Obama (yes, there I've said it) can SPEAK. He has the chutzpah required of a leader (and with an even temperament as well as in no danger of dementia!). Who wants a wooden man with the onset of dementia and possibly death (let's not get into the VP conversation. I have to agree with a BET commentator that Biden is definitely "gangsta" and is a senator of incredible integrity AND experience).
   

I will make a confession. I know and expect some people to vote for McCain. Some people it's a level of commitment to the Republican party (in the same way my mother's family is committed to the Democratic party - if I voted Republican EVER I would likely be disowned). For others it has to do with the Religious Right contingent (though I must confess I feel like that group is putting the cart before the horse on important issues and I strongly suggest a re-examination of the NEW COVENANT!). Still others have the die-hard dream of a small government (as if that would happen any time soon with our 1984esque Neo-Cons) and so hold fast to the traditional line of economic liberalism and localization.

I have to divulge just one more thing - when I expect someone to vote for Obama and they confess they're voting for McCain I feel an overwhelming disappointment and loss of faith in that person. So, if you are more of a private person, do let me have my delusions. I'd rather you never spoke.

Lastly, do take a moment to consider the past 8 years. Do we really want another of THAT?!?!?! If it goes that way this November I will think one or several of the following will be the case:

1. I will move to Canada and change my citizenship. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll become European.
2. I will have lost faith with humanity (though I'm not sure I had much faith in the masses at the start).
3. World War 3 is about to begin.
4. Terrorism really will have a permanent foot-hold in the Middle-East and elsewhere.
5. I will be expecting a perfect red heifer (if you don't know, you don't need to...really, but just see below).
   
6. The Ultra-Right have it correct. It really is the End of Times.
7. I will pray several more times daily.

May everything in this time, even the worst and the disappointing be used by God to bring joy, peace, and compassionate love (and perhaps greater thoughtfulness).

-A

Church Search 2: The Failed Attempt

Well, here we are again. Another week gone by and another few inquiries into neighborhood churches. Unfortunately our attempt this morning was foiled. I had, in our second week here, searched newspapers and internet sites for things to do in a desperate attempt to stem our tide of boredom (as we searched semi-successfully for jobs and household items). I came across a Craigslist posting by a seemingly disaffected pastor who was interested in starting a younger group service of an apparently emergent persuasion. So I emailed him and quickly got a response telling us about two possible times for worship every weekend. Seeing that his church was rather close (18 minutes according to Google Maps is close in Phoenix) Christian and I decided we'd try the 12pm Sunday gathering. Either lines got crossed or the gathering died aborning because we arrived at 12 sharp and NO ONE was there. The church was locked and there was not a car in the lot. *Sigh* This was more unfortunate for us because we were unable to attend the typical church, as most have service before 12 (think: 9:30 to 10 am range).

Instead we drove down Greenway towards an undetermined lunch location. On our drive we saw numerous suburban churches - at least one Chinese, one Korean, and another compound which was called an Indian Mission (Native American, not subcontinental). We saw one church which had posted a 6:30 pm service time, and the building did not appear to be a large scary type. On Greenway at least, the churches said nothing of fire, brimstone, or Satan on their signs.

Christian and I did make an attempt to contact a youth pastor with connections to my father's church... and after our initial email, I called only to get a voicemail and no return call.

Needless to say, we're rather discouraged. It feels as if there is water everywhere, but there is no living water. Apparently Arizona is a desert in more ways than one. Maybe this shouldn't be a surprise considering that a person can walk into a grocery store and see numerous civilians visibly carrying guns. I don't have to mention the current Republican presidential bastion of morality was produced here.

Phoenix is a large city and there are many churches, colleges, and ethnicities represented here. But it is still a city in Arizona and Arizona is wild, and in many ways Republican. Large multinational companies have corporate offices and manufacturing facilities here. There are sufficient wealthy suburbs to satisfy at least the nouveau riche type, if not blue-bloods.

However there is one good thing, which is somewhat related to religion. Sportsbars here are devoted to certain teams. We found one by chance that is devoted to Green Bay and ate dinner while watching their first game. If only we could find the Steelers' bar...

Church Search 1: Beatitudes Sat 5:00

This is the first of our Church Search review entries. If you ever decide to move to Phoenix, I hope this will be useful information for you. If you never come to Phoenix, I hope it will at least be entertaining. Churches will be rated on the "wine scale." 1 bottle is basically a temple of moneychangers, 5 bottles is "not doing harm, but your not doing anything for us," and 10 bottles is the wedding feast at Cana (aka AWESOME and likely the winner of our search).

Our first church worship experience was at the Church of the Beatitudes' Saturday 5 pm service. The church is in a prime location on the corner of W. Glendale and N. 7th Avenue. It caught my eye because it is a UCC church which I know to be a particularly theologically liberal denomination and the name (which focuses on Jesus' sermon on the mount and issues of social justice). We decided to attend the 5 pm service because we thought it would be slightly more contemporary and have younger faces in the congregation.

I was surprised by the size of the property (large by Santa Barbara standards) equipped with numerous task specific buildings. It was clear by the demographics even in the parking lot that it was a liberal church (think: Castro Street). Fortunately they had placed clear signage instructing newcomers where to go for the service (as it would have been easy to get lost). I was pleased to see a homeless man comfortably listening to his boom box in front of the Sunday morning sanctuary.

When we entered the fellowship hall, a square room with a stage, high ceilings, and stain glass windows depicting theologians across the ages, we were immediately greeted by the female pastor. I was pleased (and not surprised) to see a female pastor. After that another man greeted us (he had an earring, again not surprising) and directed us to sit wherever we liked. There was a meal (potluck, maybe?) tables, and couches. Around the space were displays depicting and explaining a number of different ministries in which members participated or the church sponsored. The ones I noticed addressed poverty, age, and the environment. In addition, there was a large banner displaying the Toastmasters' group awards (apparently a Toastmasters group meets there regularly). We were given 8.5 x 11" sized booklets talking about the ministries, the service, and other random church items.

We sat down on a couch. The man who greeted us upon entrance sat next to us. Another man came over and introduced himself right before the service started, but it was unclear who he was and he only said his name very quietly right before jettisoning away.

The members were mostly older, with a few young faces (who looked to be in high school as opposed to attending on their own steam). They had a projector and a younger looking man operating the computer attached , but he was sitting boredly in front, in plain view of everyone.

A woman stood up behind a mic and a man stood next to her at another mic. They told everyone to stand and gestured for people to clap (good luck with an Anglo crowd!). The music was recorded. Hmm. The next few songs were led by the woman singing and the man played the piano. There was no apparent theme to the subject in the songs or the images on the screen. The images during the prayers and readings changed and did not appear to be related to one another.

The scripture was from Exodus. Snore. The reader gave an editorial speech beforehand as if anyone in the crowd wasn't churched. Uh huh. This seems like a brimestone passage as opposed to the kind of theological meal I was expecting from a UCC church. Hmm. Both of us checked out during that whole deal.

There was communion by intinction, which I took feeling like I needed to in order to participate in some normal church ritual (I did receive the requisite stares for being someone different as I walked down the center aisle).

Finally the jettison man got up and sat in front of everyone. Apparently he is the co-pastor (I wonder is it a married couple? It's not clear from the booklet they gave out). Before he speaks he has a preview for a movie with one of the Owen brothers in it. It looks like a movie I'd like to see. He then goes on to tell a long seemingly unrelated story about some experience he had with a member from another pastorate. He takes a long time trying to tie the movie preview, the scripture, and his ridiculously long and complicated story together.

I know everyone has an off week - my dad always quoted his seminary preaching professor who said you have 1 amazing, 2 good to okay, and 1 terrible sermon per month. I know I've been spoiled by two amazing Baptist preachers as parents, but still. This was bad. He mentioned he had a doctorate in counseling. I think he should stick to that. We both decided we wanted to hear the woman preach, and we had no idea what she would be like.

At the end of the service the jettison pastor gave some benedictory words. Thinking it was over I tell Christian we should leave. Nope - not yet. There's their traditional semi-circle SUNG benediction (which I might add has NOTHING to do with anything that's occurred in the service, but perhaps it was their bid at liturgy maintenance). At this, I'm stuck in the semi-circle next to the inspired reader, and Christian is next to jettison pastor. Inspired reader informs me it's tradition. I got that from the song leader who directed us into the semi-circle, thanks. Christian told me later the pastor APOLOGIZED, "but it's tradition." He shook our hands and thanked us for coming. We promptly bolted (think the Jamaican runner from Beijing).

Sooo... it seemed like this service was a poor attempt at trying to appeal to the emerging church, but really was only speaking to the Boomer generation already in attendance. The church seems to be doing some wonderful things, and is clearly socially minded. Unfortunately the worship experience sucked. "It was like a junior high sunday school experience." So how many wine bottles does this get? We'll give them 6 bottles because their hearts were in the right place and they aren't detrimental in any way. Remember, this is a rating based SOLELY on the Saturday 5 pm service. We have NO IDEA what Sunday morning is like. Attend at your discretion. And by all means volunteer with these people, because it seems like they have a lot of enthusiasm for living Jesus' message just based on their community involvement displays.

Hello Phoenix! (Introductions)

Hey there! We made it. We're alive, though slightly boiled in our skins in Phoenix AZ. This is to let everyone know the general plan for the next few months (if not the remaining year). But first, a light introduction: Our trip and our first week.

It was long and hot. We got here, pulled up to the Sunny Slope apartment at sunset and on the right hand side of the street was a man seated outside who we now affectionately refer to as "the crackhead." On the other side was our apartment complete with courtyard (of dirt). Christian later informed me he noted the needle and resevoir lying on the asphault in front of our apartment then. This picture was completed by a fried used condom on the righthand side of the doorstep. Winner!!! Needless to say, Christian was especially discouraged by this sight. We went to our hotel room for the night and huddled in the comfort of the AC.

The next day we went back to the apartment in the scorching sun (even at 9 am!). Christian threw out the sharp. His sister and family came soon after and helped us unload the truck and put our place in some semblance of order - complete with a slushy and beer break (for the kids and adults respectively), lunch break, and afternoon ice cream break. Woot woot! It was some time during the afternoon one of our good neighbors (a member of a motorcycle "club") introduced himself to my husband (and later myself). The conversation went like this:

"Hey, so you all are moving in? I'm your new neighbor, name's Sinner." Bite lip, hold breath.
"I'm Christian." Shake hands.

WHAT?? Some of our other neighbors (all motorcycle club members of one sort of another) are Nacho, Stretch, ER, and Shaggy (Shaggy has a half dog, half wolf that he calls "Doggie").

Though the family all fried, it was a good time and Christian and I felt good about our first day. Finding the power still off (this was Sept 1st, a holiday) we stayed another night in the hotel.

The next day we went around buying things we needed in order to make a go of the place and also to keep cool. We still were unable to get the power on (and to make contact with the property manager) so we slept in the living room on top of a sleeping bag with the windows open and covered in baby powder.

I'm not sure when we finally got the power on, but it wasn't as exciting as we thought. The AC still didn't work. So the majority of our week was spent running around North Phoenix attempting to stay cool in either the car, or stores. Friday night was fortunately spent with one of our initial contacts from Phoenix and his girlfriend. This was a reprieve from each other and from the stress of moving. Needless to say, we all had fun.

Saturday was another day spent running around which culminated in our first church experience and our return home. From now on there will be entries devoted to our "Church Search" adventures. More info in the next entry.

When we got home from church, we found our door to be blocked by a Harley Davidson, in addition to a flock of Harley Davidsons - at least 3 or 4 clubs were being represented. We located Shaggy and he found the culprit who after some fanfare and joking all around moved his bike. We were then taken by Nacho and introduced to all the riders as the "New Neighbors." Seeing as we aren't tweekers (speed/meth addicts) they were excited. The Unidos Motorcycle Club you see, came into this apartment complex and turned it completely around. They fixed up the house on the property (turning it into the club house) and kicked out the drug addicts from the property (as well as dealers from the street). It seems, our apartment complex is the safest place to be in the neighborhood. Luckily for us, we've become the pet young married couple of the club.

Cool.