"I hate my sister...she's such a b*?%$"

First, I don't have a sister. Still, I have to answer to all the other women in the world, just as each of us has to answer back to the rest. It's funny how an individual can stand for all possible representations of a given group - whether that group is determined by race, culture, sexuality, gender or some other random characteristic. To make matters worse, the number of people who determine a particular archetype of a group is often absurdly small.

Who in their right mind believes that one group can be represented by a given shape or 'package'? That's silliness. As if every Asian was the same, or every European...or every amputee or every great aunt with red hair could be represented equally and without issue by another person who might exhibit the given characteristic?! You might ask why I should be making such a complaint.

I, like so many before me, was once a victim of catalogue shopping. I am not talking about online shopping - that would involve a different set of issues. No, this is pure unadulterated catalogue shopping being discussed here. As a testament to my now cured addiction (cured through the drying up of funds and wizening of mind) I continue to receive catalogues from this bygone era. Considering that I am a rather young person (still in my early 20s) these catalogues reflect an even younger demographic. As I was purusing one such offending tree killing catalogue, I began to notice the striking similarity of the blonde models to many of the young women - or I should say, GIRLS - who live in my locale, the at once both lovely and terrifying city of Santa Barbara CA.

I am a brunette. I have always been a brunette (despite any hair dying episodes in my younger days), and I will probably always think of myself as a brunette. I do not have blue eyes. They are more hazel or honey than straight brown or green. I have always taken offense to the bombardment of blonde blue-eyed Scandanavian wonders that plaster these catalogues and accost my psyche every time I turn the page.

Yet, much has been written on the issue of self-image, and I imagine more will continue to until there is some great depression/technology is ripped out from under us (thereby destroying the lovely business of 'advertising' also known as 'the emptiness business'). It is for this reason that I will try and stay away from the traditional self-image format and go a slightly different angle.

I realized something. It was a beautiful thing when I realized it. These alien people in these catalogues and magazines (though magazines increasingly are becoming catalogues) are not women. They are in fact, girls. They do not have the figure of a woman. Unfortunately for many of them, they will NEVER have a woman's figure. Half of them might never be able to bear children. If there was a famine, they would be the first to die because their percentage of body fat is so ridiculously small that they would not be able to support living very long under severe conditions (which trust me people, is not very far off the way the 1st world consumes resources).

The women who are famous, or just over-eager soccer moms, who are trying to look like 14 yr olds have serious issues. Let's not get into eating disorders (which are prevalent enough). Rather, let's talk about the bizarre idea that 40 yr olds are being held to the same body standards of 14 yr olds, and are BUYING IT!!! This is not to say that the old white men (because they are, all, O-L-D W-H-I-T-E M-E-N) who came up with this RIDICULOUS vision aren't perverts - WHO OVER THE AGE OF 16 THINKS A 14 YR OLD IS HOT?????? There is obviously something wrong with the old white men who think this is hot. Why aren't they seeing a psychiatrist for this problem? And WHY did they decide their fetishes need to be forced onto us?!?!?

Oh wait... they've been doing that to us for the length of the historical record.

Talk about civilization.

There is nothing wrong with an Anglo woman having the body of a 1940's pin-up. Frankly, I think that is optimal. After all, who can honestly say that 1940's pin-ups aren't absolutely beautiful? AND TOTALLY NATURALLY WOMEN?! The pictures above are a few of these more reasonable body types (though certainly not accessible to ALL women).

Hope this was as helpful a release of tension for someone else as it was for me.