I've been having difficulty getting started. I've often been a late starter, for example, I was born 3 weeks after my due date, and only then because of castor oil. Fortunately for me, once I start, I get going at a decent pace. Yet, this said, I find it very difficult to do the things I need to do once I get home from "serving" at the school (where I am an Americorps volunteer reading tutor). I have discovered, I am far from being the only one- in fact, I think that EVERYONE has this problem.
My mother, my dad, and my brother (though he has less work to do often finds himself affected more strongly by that lesser amount) all have difficulty with this. I began to wonder, maybe this reflects how EVERYONE feels at the end of the day after emotionally or physically exhausting labor. Is this the stress of which experts discuss, and are subsequently quoted in pop magazine articles? Is this the kind of thing which is cited as being the fault of so many 30 and 40 somethings' heartattacks? strokes? coronaries? depression?
It feels as though society has quietly forgotten to call these things what they must be - symptoms of a failed system. I find myself increasingly wishing for a small plot of land where I can plant seeds, tend, and reap rather than facing the increasingly fast paced life of the urban. I find my 21 year old friends being indoctrinated into the path of buying things that are much too expensive which they do not need. They think this will make them happy. They work at these emotionally or physically exahusting jobs so they can make money to buy more things that they don't need, that will not make them happy. Why don't they take a slice out of the peace pilgrim's book? These jobs do not make them happy. Buying does not make them happy. Not being possessed by your possessions - that is satisfying. Having friends you love who love you back - that is satisfying. Doing something that contributes some good to your community - THAT is satisfying.
Even though Americorps is a grueling time commitment, I do it because I want to contribute to my community (It might also be because I read Christy one too many times.). I do it because I know that working with the kids, maybe, JUST maybe, I can make a difference in their lives. And that difference means the world. It also means I am poor, but at least I am doing something for the world. At least I am being the change I wish to see in the world.
I would recommend you do the same. It's a lot better than being daily ground.
No comments:
Post a Comment