New Bugs - Back Stateside

HEY ALL!!! I'm back in the states and thought I had better check in! I've been hiding in a hole this last week and a half. I'm still recovering from jet-lag and digestive re-adjustment. Eating a lot of beef despite system rejection has helped out alot. And plain yogurt. I highly recommend it.

People have been asking me, "what are the things you've taken from your experience in India?" and "what were your first reactions coming back to the states?" Well, I think I've answered the first question rather effectively in this blog (see earlier entries). I have not yet written about my experiences since coming back to California.

The short answer to this second question is, "Rough."

The long answer is related to some changes I've noticed in myself (which are unrelated to my strange sleep cycle and digestive readjustment, or even the few pounds I lost).

The first change/noticeable difference has something to do with boundaries. As I think I've stated before in earlier blog entries, India is a land with few rules. And the rules that do apply, tend to be ambiguous and change depending on context. An example is that a red light is not always applicable. If there are no cars coming, you go through it. That's the deal. And likewise lanes are suggestions, but not necessary depending on the situation. Needless to say, I am having a hard time getting used to the fact that no, I cannot squeeze my Volvo 850 into the bike lane (which is about 2/3 the size of an average Indian lane) to make a right on red, in order to move past these slowpokes who are ALSO planning on turning. That would be wrong here. But they've stopped. I should be able to go. There are NO CARS COMING!!! In a related car note, I love the mobility of having my own vehicle (despite any costs to myself) and have the incredible urge to beep my horn at everyone who is in my way who I think could easily move OUT of my way. When riding in my car, I think my frustration would be entertaining to my passengers. Ask Christian about it to find out more.

I've also noticed that I have a general enjoyment of dressing well. While this was a trend begun (primarily) in Hungary, it has only been further highlighted. This is to the point where I look for new and different ways that I can put different pieces of clothing together in a sort of playful/funky manner. This also involves the massive amounts of strange shoes in my closet and various pieces of jewelry.

This desire to dress well is separate from my new love of all that glitters. While in the US I have not really been a sparkly sort of person, since being in India, I have at least partially converted. I have sequined shirts which I plan to wear here. When and where I am unclear about. However I think I can get away with wearing them out to clubs and still being warm (unlike the many women who look like whores and end up freezing off any exposed parts). This doesn't just include sparkly shirts, but also jewelry (which I find I feel exposed without donning some combination of rings, bracelets, earrings, and necklaces) as well as makeup (which includes not only a little bit of kajal [eyeliner] or mascara, but also well done lips, foundation, and hair). Basically, I just need to be, as my college friend says 'on duty' all the time. This extended to having well manicured hands and pedicured feet. Eastern influence weighs heavily. I look for excuses to wear heels. Now THAT is really strange....

Politeness is something I miss and something that I have grown into even more. I don't mean to say that Americans are rude, but compared to Indian sensibilities, they are. I like people to call me "ma'am" when addressing me if they don't know me. I also like men to open doors for me. I like it if the person who obviously has more money at the table pays for the poorer people who are present. I like it that when I go somewhere the people serving me really serve me. I mean that they offer me chai (tea... not that wretched boxed stuff...or even the attempts that come in bags), biscuits (I mean cookies), and possibly even an entire meal, whether I will accept it or not. I like it when people are willing to humor me if I am making an effort to meet them where they are, even if I do a terrible job at it (attempting to observe customs etc). I like that people who are close (particularly female family, or close female friends) will kiss each other on the cheek accompanied by a hug.

Strangely enough, I like visible signs of religious affiliation. I mean, WHY really, WHY would you EVER hide it??? If you believe in God, talk about it. Wear a symbol of your belief. Embrace it completely. I'm trying to figure out what kind of symbol I'd like to wear... for now I still have pooja thread on my wrists, but who knows how long that will last. When I figure it out, I'll tell you.

I'm sure there are more things... but I can't think of them right now. When I figure them out, I'll add them to the list here. For the moment though, go easy on me. I'm still trying to figure myself out after my ordeal. Sometimes we go into the desert for 40 days, and sometimes we go to India for 6 months. Sometimes we disappear for years while still living in the same house we've always lived in. It takes a while to break back into ourselves - this transformed beast which has different limbs to used in different fashions. Breaking out of the cocoon is difficult. And sitting on the branch drying your wings is not easy. The urge to fly is great. Give me a month or so. Once I'm settled, I'm sure everyone will appreciate the way the sun shines through my translucent wings.

The "R" Word: Reflections on the Spiritual Trouble of Academics

I thought that perhaps my previous post would be the last post I made from India, however this past weekend I was in Bhopal, MP attending a conference called "Religion and Communalism." It was sponsored by "Peace and Justice" Bhopal, and People's Research Society (PRS). Like all academic conferences, it was a lot of talking (necessarily so) and most of the content was bashing religion. Papers had titles like "Religion as Wellspring of Communalism" or "Bad Hindutva, Good Hinduism?", and covered topics from secularism and science to terrorism and riots. My own paper was entitled "Beyong Mandirs and Masjids: Communitarianism Through Civil Society" and focused on social solutions to communalism (although the problem of communalism is by no means only social).

There were a few problems I had at the conference. The most predominant one was that everyone presented in Hindi while I presented in English. Discussions sessions were also conducted in Hindi...

So while I was greatful for finding out that I could understand much more than I expected, I realized just how little I understood and needed to be able to understand. Many of the papers were in English so I was able to give intelligent comments in response to what I read and this seemed to be appreciated despite the fact that I couldn't give my comments in Hindi. Sigh.

The other problem I had was content based. This is a problem that would have been in many places had the same topic been discussed. And actually, the fact this problem presented itself was far from surprising. That is religion bashing. Most of the people there, from what I could gather, were not religious. In fact, if they had been in the least, they probably would have admitted this only grudgingly. Poor bastards (Totally Unrelated Note: Did you ever wonder why there's a word in English for "fatherless child" but there's no word, at least not in popular usage, for "motherless child." Shows you who is more important.).

Now why is it that 'religious' has acquired a similar kind of nasty connotation that 'feminist' acquired? Well, that's a fairly straight forward one. 'Religious' for one, at least in academic circles, equals ' lemming.' And lemmings, for those who don't spend time with academics, are despised. Blind following of is not something that academics do. There needs to be questioning. There needs to be some sort of challenge to the thing. Apparently religion doesn't do this for many people, even though it's been my experience that the most spiritually mature individuals are those who have questioned and struggled. Struggle makes us grow. That's a good thing. Not too much, or that would break a person, but a little struggle is a good thing.

'Religious' also brings to mind a lack of logic or rationality. There's no reason or logic behind behavior that is motivated by belief, and therefore it is dangerous, and frankly should be stopped. This is how the argument goes. I would say they're missing it.

Religion is about the heart. It is not meant to be an awful thing. It is meant to explain the unexplainable, to articulate a code of ethics/provide a guide to living in society, and finally it is meant to nurture the heart. It is true that any set of scriptures can be interpretted a thousand ways, and even the most liberal thinking person's words and ideas can be used to create a lock-step regime. However, this is not only a religious phenomenon. It happens with every ideology. It happens with every philosophy which becomes manipulated by those in power to control and oppress those without.

Now, my guess is that something happened to these people to turn them off to religion. Maybe they are emotionally and intuitively dense and so they haven't experienced some of the magic that comes through religious experience. There is a reason we use this phrase 'religious experience' to explain something unusual and powerful. People often convert or come back to faith because of a strong experience. Quite a few people in the Bible had the same kind of thing happen to them - they had a moment of doubt or were embittered and suddenly God comes down and shows them something they could never have imagined.

I am not claiming that religion is perfect, or that religion has all the answers, but I will assert that like feminism, it's not necessarily a bad thing. It has it's place and it's worth, and prejudice, irrationality, faith, and belief affect all groups of people - even atheist social scientists.

100 Things I Learned in India

Thanks for following along my time in India, for the few posts it was worth. If you're interested in hearing specific stories about my time abroad or about my conclusions relating to religion, politics, and culture, I am more than happy to speak for your group or organization. Please drop a line or comment on this or another post.

This is just a laundry list of lessons, trivia, and observations from my time in India. It's in no particular order. Enjoy.

1. Everything exists in India. It is the land of extremes. Thus many Guiness World Records have been set, understandably, in India (like the longest beard or the longest fingernails).

2. Currently there are 4 Miss Worlds who have been Indian. Ms. Rai is my personal favorite (and probably the most popular).

3. Though the law states all people are equal, society has it's own rules and those include caste and class.

4. Servants are a regular thing here. Sometimes even the servants have servants.

5. People talk around things that are important (like feelings or about business situations or major life decisions) while telling you quite bluntly that you need to lose weight or you have zits all over your face.

6. Life is much more about feeling than thinking. So people become attached to others (even if they talk about you all the time behind your back) and so much so that if they feel someone has hurt you (whether you are hurt or not) they will find that person and maim them. Riots have started over things like this. Also many a murder case...

7. People can love (romantically) many people. But loving does not mean life partner. And it doesn't mean you do anything about it. Duty and commitment are important parts of life. Get over yourself.

8. Family is central. Family comes before self, before friends, before others. Though sometimes this might be expressed in strange ways in India, I think there is something Americans could learn from this.

9. Colors are a good idea and can be brought about naturally. It's called 'vegetable dye.'

10. Manicures do not necessarily mean scary looking fake nails. It can mean an exfoliation treatment, an arm oil massage and a natural nail polish (which is possible...I've SEEN them!).

11. The same goes for pedicures...

12. Staring doesn't necessarily mean that you are attractive. It could just be that you're weird looking (Weird here means not only strange in a cooky sort of way, but also unusual as in rare or extraordinary - i.e. wealthy looking.).

13. History is important. Learn it so you don't repeat it.

14. It's good to sing and dance in public, even if you're an adult, even if no one else around you is. Do it.

15. Men can wear shawls. And it looks HOT.

16. Here men can be publically affectionate with other men, and women with other women, but not to each other. And funnily enough, it's illegal to be gay. HA!

17. Bombs are part of many people's everyday lives. We should remember that we're blessed with an incredibly stable and civil society. 9/11 was bad, but there's been a lot worse events in many other places that happen much more frequently.

18. God is too big for one religion and historical context. Geography, culture, and history influence how people experience God. Some of those things might be problematic. Some of those things might be a little uncomfortable. But, if this different way brings a person closer to God, who am I to stop them?

19. Some things are universal. Some dance moves, and decoration I've seen everywhere, done by different groups of people at different times. Sooo we're all different, but we're all human. There's more similarity here than most people will admit.

20. My mom cooks food which is just as spicy if not spicier than a lot of Indian food. Different regions have different flavors, but still, thank God my mother exposed me to spicy food. Otherwise...

21. It's a lie that people lose weight here. I've been pretty much the same the whole time I've been here. You only lose weight if you get sick. If you're smart, you won't get sick. I've gotten some colds and the flu, but I've not gotten any serious illness or anything remotely strange here.

22. Mosquitos are a type of bird. They are all pervasive during the autumn months. Bug repellant is essential to life.

23. Pollution is a problem of development. It is noxious, it is awful, and it makes a person feel like they are smoking over a pack a day. How can we solve the issue of pollution while providing India and other countries an avenue to wealth formation? That I have not figured out.

24. Hair is an asset. Mustard oil is supposed to be the best type of oil, even if it smells like, well, mustard. Heat it up and massage it into your scalp and hair. Leave it on for at the very least 30 minutes. After, shampoo (sometimes two or three times depending on your hair and how much oil you used), condition, rinse. If you blow dry, use an ionizing dryer. Otherwise your oil treatment is pretty much neutralized.

25. Kajal, or black eyeliner, is a fundamental tool of the Indian woman's make-up arsenal. It is also used by the poor (especially, all though not exclusively) in dusty regions to protect the eyes from dust - so children and men may also wear it.

26. Camels are in India. I didn't realize they were here until I went to Jaipur. On the road they are used like horses - transportation and they pull carts as well. My Indian shoes are also made of camel leather (sorry animal activists, but they haven't made a synthetic fiber that can compare to leather...it's still the best.).

27. Elephants are really tall. This might seem intuitive, but when you're riding one it really hits home.

28. Tigers and leopards hang out in the forests all over the place. Sometimes, if you're staying near a jungle area, they even scratch at your door at night. How crazy is that?

29. Christians are second class citizens, even though they do incredible service work here in India. There is a strong fear of conversion among the dominant religious group, Hindus, and so Christian organizations are monitored very closely.

30. Hound dogs really smell. I'm never getting one. There's a great dane in the house where I stay and his breath alone (added with the smell of his body generally) is like a weapon of mass destruction. Seriously, they might be able to market that...

31. Chows are evil. They are moody and they get offended easily. But they are really adorable to look at. I suggest admiring from afar.

32. We get ripped off for jewelry in the US, as well as health care. So make a trip to India, get your surgery done, AND buy some really nice gems. Two for the price of traveling to a foreign country! Nice!

33. The Taj is not as spectacular as people lead you to believe. It is nicer because of the stories surrounding it's creation. That said, you should see it for that very reason. And if you can, propose to your significant other there, or (i don't know if this is possible) get married there!

34. If you've seen one piece of Mughal architecture you've seen them all. Really. They were all built around the same time by basically the same three people. Spend your time looking at some temples and some other palaces instead.

35. Hippies are alive and well... in India. They've kind of taken over the hill stations. It's rather disturbing.

36. Tourists can be identified using these three factors: their skin, their large waistline, and the sporting of goofy looking broad brimmed hats.

37. Summer is used to melt things...like white people. Don't come here during summer. Come early fall or late spring. Otherwise you have to bring warm clothes and lots of bug repellant.

38. India is the land of almost. Don't buy pizza here (especially if you're from the East Coast...you'll be really disappointed). Although they do make decent crusty bread (surprisingly).

39. Chai is amazing. Once you've had it, you'll never patronize Starbucks again (for their boxed chai and maybe even their coffee). It also has different flavors depending on the chaiwala...so patronize a bunch and enjoy!

40. Every temple has holy food or prashad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bland, sometimes it's just scary. So, give offerings at your own risk.

41. The Himalayas are amazing, both the lesser and the greater. Visit them if you can.

42. Delhi is gross. It is loud, busy, and grimy. If you like LA you'll like Delhi. Otherwise... forget it.

43. Small villages are quaint. Go to one with a person who is well connected to the place. You'll be treated like royalty.

44. People are incredibly hospitable. Accept their hospitality carefully - sometimes it can be overwhelming. Other times it's not right for you (for whatever reason). Say no in such a way that you won't hurt the person's feelings.

45. Depending on who you talk to, you'll find that Hindi and Urdu are Siamese twins. But good luck finding any similarity between scripts!

46. Coffee here is usually instant unless you ask specifically for french press style coffee. Drink at your own risk.

47. Indian sweets are REALLY sweet. Diabetics should stick to savory foods. Those in fear of diabetes, stick to savory foods. That said, kheer is lovely and so is this Indian fudge called barfi (made with either almond paste or pistachio paste).

48. Nuts are also known as 'dried fruit.'

49. Actions aren't completed, they're on-going. For example, "You are looking lovely in all these pictures I'm seeing."

50. Get used to terms of endearment, primarily 'darling,' 'sweetie,' 'honey,' and 'baby.'

51. Western wear is popular in cities. So bring a pair of jeans.

52. If you do wear Indian dress, consult an Indian on some of these things. And don't wear them if you look stiff and awkward in it. Only wear it if you really feel comfortable in it. Sometimes it's just weird to watch Westerners wearing this clothing....it looks contrived.

53. Watch some Bollywood movies. Do it in the comfort of your own home with subtitles. Indian movie theaters are an experience in themselves... best saved for a group of people and a movie in English (unless you're fluent in Hindi).

54. There are an enormous number of French in Delhi. I think they have plans of over-running the city.

55. It's a new trend for Westerners to live in India because the cost of living is so cheap and you can have a life of luxury on the same amount of income that was bringing you a middleclass life in your home country.

56. India is not for everyone. You pretty much either love it or hate it. And even if you hate, sometimes you still have to come back. It's kind of like a Greek or Italian mother giving you a guilt trip. You're required to return.

57. There are awful/selfish rich people everywhere.

58. There are good people everywhere - and some of them even have money!

59. Addiction is everywhere, and always for the same reasons.

60. If you are looking at adoption, I suggest you consider adopting a child from India. Particularly girl babies from the north as alot of those are abandoned in favor of male children who are perceived to be a lesser burden.

61. Some Indians look Mexican. Others look French or Italian. Others look Chinese. In another part of the world... they'd blend right in. It's kind of similar to Brazil in that way... :-D

62. Indian roads are like obstacle courses. You have autorickshaws, bicycle rickshaws, cows, horse carts, scooters, motorcycles, buses, cars, and trucks all sharing the road. All of that, and traffic rules are pretty much considered optional.

63. In fact, rules are optional. You only obey them when there might be a penalty for getting caught breaking them.

64. There is a worse danger of spoiled rich child here because children, particularly sons, are pampered until they get married. Be advised.

65. Politics is about money (surprise) and popularity.

66. Religion is a tool used by political parties (another surprise).

67. Beggars are everywhere...and there are all kinds of issues surrounding giving them money.

68. Motorcycles aren't so scary at low speeds.

69. Monkeys are aggressive and the brown ones are down right evil. Blackfaced white ones are good luck

70. Elephants are good luck.

71. Every action boils down to whether it is a good idea considering your sign, number, and whether it is an auspicious time to complete such an action.

72. The first invitation to a major event always goes to the gods.

73. Ganesh is usually portrayed with a rat because he is the god of hospitality and the remover of obstacles, and if you're doing well, you'll always have a rat suckling up to you.

74. Business in India corrupts the soul when it involves working with politicians. Fair is a bad word in that arena.

75. Every person is on their own path. Thus, it doesn't matter what you do, and often doesn't matter how your actions affect other people. You only act in consideration of others if it feels good to you. There is no incentive to do so.

76. Skin conditions are 'allergies.' If you have something that is a hereditary or even a non-contractable disease, don't tell people. You'll be stigmatized something close to 'leper.'

77. Kerala is a charmed state. Visit it if you can.

78. Goa is the only place in India where it is safe for a woman to be on her own. Otherwise you are dependent on male protectors.

79. Public space is male dominated. Night is not safe for women in most areas.

80. Violence is a part of everyday life. After all, there's so many people, with so many differences, it's bound to happen sometime. It's a miracle it doesn't happen more than it does.

81. Most people have something they want from you. Be explicit in what you are able or not able to give them.

82. Most vendors will try to rip you off if you are white. Take an Indian to bargain with them, or just ask for a significantly lower rate. Or speak to them in Hindi. You'll come out alright.

83. Discuss religion and/or politics with care.

84. Discuss anything with high status men with care. They will likely not listen to/dismiss you, say something that is untrue or infuriating, as well as not let you even speak.

85. If you're nice and genuine you can make anything happen here.

86. Organizations run differently - be advised that it will take several meetings before anything substantial happens.

87. Mornings are slow. Everything happens in the afternoon or evening.

88.Your actions are your business, so as long as they don't affect others close to you in an adverse way, you can pretty much get away with anything.

89. Money and connections are the inroads here. Without them, you're SOL.

90. Trash is everywhere. Garbage cans are optional.

91. Grime is everywhere. Cleaning is optional.

92. Sikh temples are clean and they give you a free and tasty lunch. What a lovely religion!

93. You can get every clothing item custom made. Think merino wool suit custom tailored, for $50.

94. Forget about good cheap sunglasses. Fashion imports are ridiculously expensive.

95. Every space is a potential place for expression. Why shouldn't things be decorated?

96. Infrastructure may not work properly, but at least we have the internet and cell phones!

97. Arranged marriage happens primarily in provencial areas. Now most marriages are assisted (so you meet and date a couple times and then get married).

98. There are so many butterflies here. In colors and combinations I had never seen.

99. Beauty can be found in unexpected times and places. You just need to be open to it.

100. Life is full of surprises. Don't be afraid to invite them and accept them. It could be that someone has gifts, blessings, and opportunities lined up for you, if only you're ready for them.

Namaste!

From a Spartan Woman, on the Persian Army

It's been some time since I've written. There are a number of reasons for that. Mainly it just has to do with the fact that India is a challenging place, I've been here all this time, and I've been bombarded by many nasty situations. I've also come across some good ones... but at this moment, they seem few and far between (or strained and stretched).

I have the unfortunate habit of attracting all kinds of people. Even beyond that I have the problem of being nice to people with major issues. I'm not good at seeking people out, they either come to me or they don't, and so I have a limited pool of people who end up becoming friends, associates, and acquaintances.

I want to think the best of people. Again, another unfortunate habit of mine is to give people the benefit of the doubt, even if they don't deserve it. That is, until they cross the line. Once they've reached that point, they've pretty much burned all bridges and it is nearly impossible for them to redeem themselves (Although I do often have fantasies of them trying to do so, usually what happens is the person continues to act in a problematic way... thereby killing all delusions of reconciliation).

I am writing this because I have found it incredibly difficult to have very many meaningful relationships here in India (with the exception of my limited friends from academia). This may be due to the fact that I am a funny foreigner (case in point) or because I still haven't learned the cultural rules (related to the former). Those relationships which I have attracted to myself tend to involve a great deal more drama and pain than I am accustomed to experiencing. Part of this may be, as I said before, cultural issues. These could be class and caste (I am living with some jetsetters...so they bring more jetsetters into my acquaintance...while I am from a middleclass family of at least partially working class background). Also it is probably India (ways of interacting with people are generally different... the truth is more than relative). Finally, it is in part dysfunction.

My interactions with people here have done one thing which I had not expected. I knew that time abroad (as it always does) makes one reconsider one's own country. I just didn't expect it to be the way it has been for me in India. I feel a bit like one of 300 Spartans facing the Persian imperial army. Of course, Spartan women are given such status because they give birth to Spartan men. I'm not saying that America is perfect, far from it. I do think there are some cultural values which are unique to America and frankly, I think they're the best. Not American Corporate culture, but I'm talking here about the down home American roots that my extended family comes from. I'm talking about Staten Island. I'm talking about the way that people are valued because they accomplish something (much more so than in other places), not because of their parents or their social capital (let's be realistic, who really values Paris' for her upstanding Americanness? Whereas Bill Gates is someone who is upheld as the quintessential pull yourself up by your bootstraps guy - an American.). This may seem like a bid for nationalism. Perhaps it is a bit of that national pride. However, I think often times people are found to be toting national pride randomly, without experience to lead them to their fervor. And as an American, I'm not toting the government's actions. I generally distrust the government, it's the true American way. I trust the people. Whether or not this trust is founded is another issue. But in the end, I feel at home in New York, Chicago, the Appalachians, Seattle, Bloomington and Elk's City because those are my people. It doesn't matter if they're dark chocolate, carmel, or white as a sheet. Doesn't matter to me if English isn't their first language. My ancestors came to the New World for a different life in 1643. It's the same reason someone gets off the plane today.

Americans want to work together - it's why we try so hard to be liked by everyone, even if we have misgivings about a particular group. This is a natural outgrowth of the immigrant culture. On any day of the week I could be eating Italian, Chinese, Mexican, French, or any other ethnic food. And then there is of course that distinct mixture which is American. I can go to any house of worship in most big cities. I can join clubs and activist groups and protest on a regular basis. Sure, it's not perfect. It needs improving. That's why everyone who lives there needs to work some to make it better than it is. These are not finished projects. They're on-going. This is one of the reasons why even though I care about people around the world, and affirm their common humanity, I need to help get this house in order first. When there are as few problems as possible... (and granted these problems affect everywhere else in this era of globalization) then I'll move forward.

Here's to those American values which make this country great. Here's to making the country really great and getting our house in order for all Americans so then we can really address issues around the globe.

In love and peace,

A

Socialites UNITE!!

So remember all those classes (okay, this is just for the social scientists out there who have spent any time studying globalization) about transnational elites. Yes. That's all I have to say about that... yes. It's all true. And socio-economic standing only matters as much as your connections. Really, social capital is 300x more important than any material wealth you may acquire. But perhaps you already knew that. The situation just became blindingly apparent to me last night at a party I attended in Defense Colony.

Extended post here You see, my family's income is down right rich if you compare it to the average Indian's. My parents, fortunately for me, valued education, and knew enough people and were able to support me well enough to ensure that I went to excellent schools and made good connections. Had my family been Indian, rather than American, I'm not sure how well that would have turned out. Being clergy isn't exactly a lucrative profession and in India, Christianity (as discussed in previous blog entries) is a fringe religion (and likewise Christians are treated as marginal elements of society). So the likelihood would have been that I would not have the social capital that I have being the daughter of two American clergy.

Now, that said, I do have quite a bit of social capital, which I continue to accrue. Example, all my friends from college from all over the world, my friends from Hungary, my American friends, and now my Indian friends (in addition of course to my professional contacts both in the academy and elsewhere). Saying all this, I realize, of course, that I am a member of the transnational elite. Maybe not the business elite, but an elite nonetheless which is intimately connected to other types of elites (government and business). So last night I went to a party which was in the Defense Colony for a friend of a friend's birthday. This meant cake and chips, among other things, turn tables (complete with I don't know how many Euro style DJs), and a whole chunk of French embassy workers. In fact, there were few Indians there (much fewer than I had expected).

But this is how we meet. Us elites. We go to parties in large cities, we dance, we indulge, and we talk (or if you're like me, you mostly just sit around watching people because parties where you know 4 people make you a little wary). Maybe we drink tea or coffee or go to some cultural show and then schmooze at the reception afterwards.

And at this level, culture and religion, understandings are so similar (or similar enough to have nearly the same political/economic agendas) that nationalities cease to matter. It's only an issue if you don't speak the lingua franca (which in elite and middle-class Indian circles is English). And of course, everyone at this level speaks the lingua franca. So there goes my goal of picking up much Hindi. In that quarter I fail.

My experience with elites across the world (the few places where I have been) leads me to believe even more in Isaiah Berlin's ideas about teaching sentimentality. That is to influence those with power and resources to use these to the benefit of all humankind because their hearts tell them to do so. Now I don't mean elites dressing up and going to things called 'Fur Balls.' Rather I mean elites to not only give enormous amounts of money but speak out for causes and meet with other elites to formulate plans of action to stimulate real change. And not just elites by themselves, but elites building cross-cutting relationships with other groups of people. The middle class would be a start and eventually lower class relationships.

Perhaps this is a bit strange sounding, or perhaps it sounds stuffy. I only speak from my limited experience and the observations I've made of various groups sticking to their own (which not only includes elites, but middle class and lower classes as well). Some of this may be due to comfort and some of this may be due to associational structures in place.

My conclusion: I'll continue hanging out with elites. I'll also hang out with any good person who comes my way. And hopefully my social capital can be spread around, and do some good for a wide variety of people.

blessings.

Alexis Goes to Delhi and other stories

The short version is that life has been kind of crazy and doing things has been much more interesting to me than typing an account of those things.

Several points by way of overview (and then for more interesting thoughts):

1. Delhi, while being a big city, is a city of neighborhoods (or colonies... how weird is that?). Because of the way it is situated, it can be a bit of a hassle to get from one area to another without having a car or motorbike (read: Alexis).

2. I had been staying at a guesthouse at Jamia for the first 2 weeks where I met my first few friends in Delhi. After that I was able to get a room with a family that had never had a paying guest before. Needless to say, I've become somewhat of a daughter to them and this comes with quite a nice package (considering that I was all alone in this city).

3. The center where I am interning is nice if new and the year barely started (plus they, like another program I've involved myself in, have just begun their masters program - brand new this year).

Those are the key points of inquiry. The rest is just...well something. Delhi is hot. I am melting. However, the family with whom I live has a place in the lesser Himalayas and so I was able to go for a few days. Talk about a break from heat - I didn't have warm enough clothes! They gave me a knit scarf and I borrowed an assortment of jackets and shawls, while enjoying the heat of a fire, monkeys stealing bags of apples and papayas, star-gazing, walks through the forest, leeches, and excellent company.

I should also say, I am more than fortunate to be with the family I am. They have so many connections to NGOs and other things that it has given me a place in Delhi which I could not have hoped for in my wildest dreams. You don't land in that. You're given it. I do have to give props to God for making it the only possibility for me (literally, it was the only room I saw which would be vacant in time of me leaving the guesthouse).

Personally in the time I've spent NOT blogging, I've come to encounter new understandings of religion (which I may reserve the right NOT to discuss until they are fully formed and coherent), greater understandings of Indian society, and a strong yearning for a Beckman Grenache as well as a thick bloody steak.

Despite my small discomforts (like heat and a yearning for red meat) I have come to enjoy this place called India, and Delhi more specifically. I know now that I can't begin to grasp the things I need to know in my limited time here. I will have to return, which frankly, is more than fine with me.

You may wonder why I would brave 40C and autorickshaw driver rip-offs. But beyond Delhi, and even I may dare say Punjab (which I have discovered I adore because everytime I see anything Punjabi I get really excited) I felt more akin to a place than I have ever in my life.

I actually fell in love with Pangot, where I stayed in the mountains. This is the first time I have fallen in love with a place, the first time I've felt rooted after a few days. This is my kind of paradise. It's not the seductive beauty of Santa Barbara which I will represent through the classic aspertane blonde blue-eyed shell valley girl. No. This is like an archetypal Victorian beauty with elegant dresses, grace, poise, and presence. There is no comparison. Don't get me wrong, I love the beauty of Santa Barbara. But this place is like a 5 course meal to me. It's the kind of place where Kipling and Elliot would have written their works.

Delhi has blessed me more than I could have imagined. The Malhotras have blessed me more than I could have dreamed. As my dad says, "God is good" and we say, "ALL THE TIME." Amen.

A Little Crazy - The Ovary Trap

When my mother was pregnant with me she often felt 'a little yucky' which became an epithet for the thing that was on its way to becoming me. India however requires not 'a little yucky,' but 'a little crazy.' There's a certain degree of flexibility which is required in this level of heat... otherwise tempers flare and someone ends up dead.

I suggest this because, in the paper which is delivered daily to my room, the Chandigarh Tribune (I think you might be able to find this online) there is a story (at least one) daily that ends in violence surrounding issues of caste, gender, or economics.

While Sikhs and Muslims (in addition to some other minority groups) profess a desire for equality in both caste and gender dimensions, yet the current state is a far cry from our expectations of such things. While I could go on and on about caste dynamics, I think I've mentioned this several times before and would therefore like to focus a bit more on gender dynamics - and all the problems associated with love, women, and sex in Punjab (yes..this is the CONDENSED version from MY perspective).

Extended post here Think: Intercaste marriage (often the boy is the lower caste...though why I am unclear) formed because of love (for which there is no place in Punjabi society, or was none, say a fair few of our guest lecturers) ends with the father and brother of the girl kidnapping the couple killing and maiming them. The accused rarely stay in jail for any length of time.

In other cases the village council sentences the couple to death by ordering the family to kill them.

Punjab is one of three Indian states with the highest numbers of men relative to women (876 women to every 1000 men). In the paper there are regular reports of baby bodies being found near villages in ditches. They are always female. The Indian government has attempted to stem this long practiced custom but has met little success.

Women here do not go out at night by themselves (although this is changing somewhat with the younger generations). This is because of several reasons. Premarital sex is discouraged. You hav low levels of women relative to men. It's dark...guys are horny and they travel in groups. Rape and sexual assault cases are rarely prosecuted.

There is some change in the ideas surrounding public displays of affection (PDA) which is largely due to Western teenage love movies (even the scene of Cho Chang and Harry Potter in the recent HP movie would get whoops and yells in the theater). So now you see some couples nuzzling in public in major cities, but certainly not in villages. Ideas about sex and conversations about sex are limited although there are initiatives to educate (women especially) about safe sex and contraception options.

All this combined with the whole predominance of Indians' staring. For some reason staring happens...to everyone...not just to foreigners. However, white women (especially with unusual colored eyes and hair - say blonde and blue-eyed) elicit the most overt stares. You can understand why modest dress is a good idea for Western women. Needless to say, modest means nothing above the knee (i.e. knee is covered) and certainly no cleavage (and spaghetti straps are a big no-no). Standards of modest dress are not necessarily the same for Indian and Western women (so while an Indian woman might be able to get away with some of the above immodesties, a Western woman would be perceived as definitely asking for 'it').

So basically everywhere I go I get gawked alittle bit. Fortunately I have some protection by having darker hair and light brown eyes and olive undertoned skin. My friend Ash said I look like a lot of his half-Indian friends. This affords me a little less gawking, but it's certainly not protection from 'creep.' For my blonde-haired, blue-eyed, pink-skinned, (and in some cases, short-haired) friends, the gawking is much more overt, and depending on the woman-in-question's presence, will take on different characters. Short hair for example, will get curiousity, but not necessarily 'undressing-with-the-eyes.'

Even at the movie theater there is a separate line for men and women to help minimize the unwanted groping and touching that might occur. Apparently hands tend to wander (fortunately I have not yet encountered this problem) and even though this happens frequently, it is discouraged by the general population.

So, if you are a woman planning on coming to India from the West, 1) wear modest clothing as per the code above, 2) bring a ring that fits on your left-hand ring finger and 3) be comfortable pushing off the unwanted hands and yelling in their faces if they get a little too close. It's kind of like fending off a large cat - you put up any kind of fight, the cat gets discouraged and leaves you alone.

But don't worry at all if you have a guy in your group. Apparently one or two men is enough to ward off the undesirables.

And all this is to say: with all the advances women have in this country and political offices they've held, culturally men aren't able to control themselves. Hmmm....

Cults and pop religion

So a recurring theme for me in India is, "I'm comfortable and happy being Christian and I have no intention of changing my religion ever." This is basically because of religious saturation. This is not just of long established religions, like Islam and Hinduism, but also separatist movements who claim to be the 'true' way and also popular religion (almost folk religion) which blur all kinds of categories and help soothe the most base of needs.

Extended post here It's these last two which I encountered this past weekend. Namdhari Sikhs are a group that split off from Sikhism in order to bring about a purer more orthodox understanding back into Sikhism in the mid-nineteenth century. We were able to visit their...for lack of a better word...compound and see a worship service (which involved paying respect to their leader who is quite ancient and sits in rather regal estate at the front of the worship hall).

Being a Christian, and a protestant especially, bowing to a person doesn't exactly sit well with me. It's not that I felt as if I was betraying God, I didn't. I did bow to the leader as a gesture of respect both to the leader and to the congregation. It was an act of cultural and religious sensitivity.

The popular religion location we visited was called Gugga Pir. I'm not entirely clear as to what person this place was a shrine to, only that there were several structures that had depictions (yes depictions) of various faith symbols (mosques, Sikh gurus, Hindu gods etc). In the main structure the icons to which people would pray and bring offerings, from what I understand, involved like a local muslim man who had a way with snakes and then Krishna blessing him. Offerings of wheat or other grains (or any kind of food) are brought by families and individuals after a wish has been granted (such as good harvest or animals being safe from snake bites during monsoon season). It was very much a shrine for the local people. In this case, local people means farmers from both small and large farms.

So there are religious groups, categories, and blurring of those categories. Now overlay that with political and socio-economic issues. The British when they came into the Punjab in 1847 (although certainly before this in other provinces) began taking census on religious rather than caste lines. Previously most Indians associated themselves primarily by caste and regional identities. So for review, most Punjabis consider themselves Sikh, then either Punjabi or their caste (like Jat) followed by the other. The British also instituted the reservation representation system...so majority groups in certain towns were guaranteed an elected official of their religious group. The exception to this is reservation for dalit or backward castes (which is different because it's based on caste rather than religious affiliation). So tensions can arise on religious or socio-economic lines (and are often interrelated).

It's no wonder there could have been so many riots prior to and during the British period, as well as during and after Partition (Everything in Punjab is dated from Partition as opposed to Independence as Partition had a huge impact on Punjabi society.).

And this is where I'm spending the next three weeks. I wonder how my understanding of these groupings and historical context will change once I'm in Delhi. This is my little self-experiment.

Religious Confusion and Cross-Cultural Enjoyment

Religion...wow. This past weekend I visited a Christian school/chapel, a Jain temple, two commemorative Gurdwaras, a Mosque and Shrine to a Sufi saint, and a Hindu temple. People are not clearly Sikh or Muslim or Hindu here. There's this concept of popular religion which encourages people to sort of, as Mann says, 'hedge their bets.' So you can find Sikhs teaching at the Christian school, worshipping at the Jain temple and paying their respects to the Sufi saint. Talk about confusing.

From what I can understand, the issues when it comes to community violence (although I just picked up a book on the subject which may or may not support my hypothesis) are not religious (although they often take on a religious character) but are socio-economic. It has more to do with long held notions of caste, and all the power and wealth (or lack thereof) wrapped up in these. Likewise religious minorities or ethnic minorities become associated with certain levels of prosperity or castes and are therefore received accordingly(such as the Christian woman I mentioned before). Jains are often associated with trading and tend to be considered wealthy. Sikhs are generally considered wealthy, tall, and light-skinned (Punjab being a majority Sikh state and by far the wealthiest state in India). Christians are considered lower caste, as are Muslims in many areas. Hindus you get all sorts... I've also noticed some of this just in the marriage classifieds of the Chandigarh Tribune. Of course, these are stereotypes. Stereotypes have some grounding in reality, and as students of the social sciences, we can both see their usefulness (if indeed there is any) and their highly problematic nature.

Beyond that, as a spiritual person, as a religious person, I expected to feel something when I was in these houses of worship. Often I just felt awkward. Sometimes I just felt like an outsider. Part of it is certainly my tradition, being raised Baptist...it certainly has an effect. At the same time I was surprised. I've always felt a shiver when I hear the Muslim call to prayer, but in these temples I felt strange. I did appreciate the beauty of the gurdwaras and the Sufi shrine, but I did not feel reverence. This clued me in on the fact that I'm probably in the right religion (if I did have any doubts).

In other news we have been learning Bangra - traditional Punjabi dancing. This is awesome! For those of you who know how much I love to dance, you should also know I have a decent ability dancing freeform, but someone telling me how to move requires a great deal more concentration. HOWEVER, I have found myself comfortably successful and am enjoying it a great deal.

I've had enough email and computer for today, so here's Alexis from the same grubby cyber cafe in Sector 17, Chandigarh signing off, saying Salam, Shalom, Shanti, An, and Peace.

Christian Blue Ice

Here's a little bit about last evening and today. I can't even begin to recall when it is July 4 or July 5 or what in the states...so if it's happened, then excellent...hope you enjoyed the fireworks. If it's happening, I hope you enjoy the fireworks. I'll relax as much as I can on tandoori (which I LOVE, so it's difficult).

Okay, so last night we went to this 'lounge' called Blue Ice which had a bunch of couples nuzzling dressed in Western clothes. The drinks, for India were expensive, but fairly EXTENSIVE. I've been to some bars in SB where the bartender didn't know how to make a Pink Pussy (which I got by the way, because the first time I got one I was in Hungary, and it was too nice of a connection to pass up.). The music was loud and Western - hip hop, to some classic rock, to techno (which Dan and Tony should be pleased- I broke out into raver dance sitting down. This apparently was quite a surprise to the group, because they all said 'WHOA!' and stopped talking. I noticed this, and finished dancing, and they applauded. It made me feel a little weird. Then my friend Jessie was like 'Alexis is a raver!' To which I replied, 'No, I just have a raver boyfriend.' *grin*

One of the girls, Fakrah, got up and wanted to dance the Bangra. She requested as song from one of the latest Bollywood films. This encouraged a guy who is on Berkeley's Indian dance team, Ashveer, to join her. This was amazing - I'm sure you can find videos of this everywhere, but I don't have the patience to find one for you...so you'll just have to look. Bangra however, is the dance that is affectionately referred to by white people as 'screw in the lightbulb, turn the doorknob.' Anyway, their dancing received applause from some of the other patrons. It was pretty cool.

Today the thing which was most interesting was the Christian presentation in the afternoon. Christians were not solely the product of British missionaries (however in Punjab they are primarily so). Thomas visited the region of Kerala around 49 A.C.E. and there remains a somewhat Orthodox community there (I'd like to learn a bit more about this).

Christians in India are generally perceived as lower caste, even though Christians do not adhere to the caste system. Because they don't adhere to the caste system, they cannot get reservation (as dalits from other groups might). Only recently did the Indian government in Punjab call them 'financially backward' which apparently doesn't really change their situation. Yay governments!

An additional pain is that constitutionally religions are separated into vedic and semitic religions. So for example, a Hindu who wants to adopt a child has a relatively easy time doing so - they go to court and it's a relatively painless process. A Christian, Muslim, or Jew simply cannot adopt. So while India claims to be a secular country without a state religion, there are structures in place which show this to be false (beyond that of the social and cultural).

That said, Christians have done wonderful things for the state of Punjab in the areas of health and education. The first hospitals and schools were begun by missionaries, who, as per the presenters, were there to serve rather than to convert. They saw the rural regions and the lack of opportunities, including work skills, and sought to remedy this by providing institutions which would educate both women and men (girls and boys - a major change because before women stayed in the home and remained covered). Professor Mann is actually the product of a Christian college and is good friends with the presenters we had today (all of whom were classmates with him at the Christian college). In fact, one of the most prominent colleges in Delhi is St. Steven's, a Christian institution. So I guess, Christian instituions are fine, but Christian Indians are not.

Talk about backward.

My heart went out to the one woman when she was telling a story about some research she was doing where she was interviewing some women in their homes, and when the subject of Christianity came up they told her they wouldn't use glasses or plates eaten from by Christians - those were to remain separate. She told them when she left, 'Can I take my cup?' 'Why?' 'Because I'm Christian.' A conversation began about how she couldn't possibly be Christian because she didn't LOOK Christian. 'What does a Christian look like? Three eyes? 2 noses?' She said she left crying.

It was today I began to understand just why there is religious tension in India, and how it really isn't so much about the religion perse, as the socio-economic structures associated with given religions.

I hope you all are having equally interesting times in your respective places.

Peace,

INDIA - Arrival+

Here's the deal - I'm in India. I have just had the first opportunity to get to a computer, so this will be the first major update of my adventures. Expand to read the whole story.

Here's the short version of my arrival: Air India is a micro-expression of India. We were herded into the terminal in LAX where they searched us a second time, and the flight was delayed 3 hours because someone died on the plane we were supposed to be taking. Rules are not rules, they're suggestions. People are chatty and nice. Flight attendants wear uniform saris. Bollywood reigns. I personally appreciated "Namaste London" but I've seen the leading man in other movies, and well, he's hot. The plane arrived in Frankfurt after 10 hours, and the German airport guy freaked at the lack of rule-following. So classic. Another nine hours and we were in Delhi. There, we went through customs, got our bags, and went out into the heat. There, a man named Vicky took two of us, via car, to Chandigarh. Most of the drive was heart-stopping (you've never seen driving until you've been to India), with an on-going dialogue as we passed through villages and cities on our way. Driving - again, everything except red-lights and policemen are suggestions. The road is shared by rickshaws, motorcycles, bicycles, buses, pedestrians, horses, cows, trucks and cars. When we got to Chandigarh, the capital of Punjab 5 hours later, Jessie and I were totally exhausted.

We were met by the wonderful Professor Mann, who greeted us with hugs and quickly brought us to our room. Then we went downstairs for a bite to eat before collapsing for 12 hours sleep.

The next day we were joined by Joy and David which gave us a little group to explore the near area. We went to the market and got some fabric to have salwar kameez (sp?) made and also have some ready made clothes (currently I'm wearing a magenta/green number which is both comfortable and flattering...YAY INDIA!).

The day was HOT, and I mean, HOT. For being a weather wimp, it totally wiped me out. The next day, of course, I fell ill. I stayed in bed the entire day and only drank water, emergen-C, and ate some crackers. Fortunately we had no program things yesterday.

Today was our first program day. We first spent some time learning Gurmukhi (the Punjabi script) which is fun. This was followed by fresh mangos and tea (chai). After snacks, we had a lecture by an eminent scholar on the historical geography of the region. This was followed by lunch with a little siesta time (as it is too hot to really do anything during this period of the day). Then we had a lecture (which was more of a experienced elder imparting his life knowledge as opposed to a traditional lecture) from Mr. Prakash who was one of the architects who planned Chandigarh in the early 1950s. We got a book of poems from him which he had drawn a picture instead of signing (a different one for each book).

And now...you know what I'm doing, so I won't bore you with that.

Much love and happy wishes from India. If you're dying to see pictures, you'll just have to wait. Although, I will say, bright colors abound, and so do interesting sights. The caste system is visible everywhere I go. It is strange, but religion is a part of everything here - from greeting, to dress, to eating, much more so than all my prepartory reading led me to believe.

In any case, namaste!

"Truly I tell you..."

It’s been a long time since I’ve written. There’s no real excuse except the grindstone of life, school, relationships, and other extracurricular obligations. Oh, and the failure of technology...

I am writing because of truth. I’ve noticed that a lot of people get hung up on that word, as well as other related issues. Philosophers argue, for example that there is no truth. There can be no absolute or objective truth – all truth is therefore subjective or relative. Some argue that there are definitely certain things in this life that are in fact true, and therefore are worth fighting for – dying for – possibly killing for.

Academia, the current juices in which I wallow, is full of varying understandings of truth. Most recently I’ve become interested in the liberal machine and how it moves, or doesn’t towards truth. I think Gandhi had it right when he said that both sides of an issue may have varying levels of truth and through conversation, debate, and dialogue we are able to come to a solution which incorporates the most truth we can.

The university, often a bastion of liberal thinking, in many departments has forgotten this very key thing. Different perspectives can hold different levels of truth. Despite being right or wrong, true or false, they are valid and important because opposing perspectives further fortify our convictions. They help us because they cause us to struggle and to question. It is essential that our positions be re-evaluated, if only to make them stronger. However it is okay if we throw them out. It is okay to be wrong, because, as said earlier, this can only help us along our way to something more helpful – more truthful.

A problem in many liberal minded departments is the total disregard for opposing perspectives. We say, oh yes, we are ‘open-minded’ but we really aren’t. We imply, through various turns of phrase, that we mean to be inclusive, but put up walls that alienate and infuriate. No. This is NOT the way to go about doing things. It is not effective. It is not helpful. Why? Because these walls are erected, we remove the possibility of dialogue. Because we close ourselves off, we cannot reconsider and re-evaluate.

It comes out in destructive and upsetting ways in classes. Partially because so many of our cold logically trained minds will react to things in emotionally charged ways which leave no room for opposition. Yes, be passionate. Yes, have an opinion. However, be strong enough to notice your emotional responses and why you have these responses to a particular comment or question. Is it the phrasing? Is it the person? Is it the fact you didn’t eat that day? Did you not sleep the night before? To let those kinds of things rule your day, your responses to intellectual conversation is dangerous. To let preconceptions prevent further consideration is dangerous. By allowing yourself to be angered by a potential ally’s careless phrase is not helpful. Rather, suggest alternative constructions or clarifications.

So, to sum up: Strong emotions and preconceived notions which blind are the enemies of dialoguing and truth-seeking. Truth may not be absolute, but there is something that feels right or feels true can be present in two opposing perspectives. Dialoguing between opposing perspectives is the most effective way towards truth. So, stick it to your professors or your friends – take up an opposing perspective, or even one that is wrong. Get into a debate. It’s fun. It’s invigorating. It helps send us on our way…